I have spend years trying to think of that one thing in life that brings me joy. I narrowed it down to writing and cooking – writing first, cooking second. It’s how it has been for the last few years. You know, it’s not like I don’t talk about it enough.
But lately – neither of them give me thrills like they use to. I don’t feel like cooking and when I do cook I’m grump, and uncomfortable. I haven’t made anything new or interesting – it’s basically what’s quick and easy. Writing has been worse. When I sit and try to write I barely get anything wrote. In fact, this is the longest thing I have written in months. I can’t edit Frost, and I can’t seem to write anything new.
I thought maybe I had a writing slump – sometimes that happens. Then I thought I had a cooking slump. I’m afraid, however, that I am in a life slump. I just don’t have the oomph to do anything and it shows. Lately, I don’t even want to go to work. Give me short term and just let me mope about at home. &&& what makes it worse, I have no idea what’s wrong.
The last time I felt like this my brother ended up shipping me off to Texas to stay with my grandfather for months. &&& now we can’t. I can’t go anywhere. I can’t do anything. I’m just blah and have to keep trudging forward. I just wish I’d stop taking it out on the boyfriend before he gets sick of it. Although, I did tell him beforehand, that I get moody for no reasons && usually can’t figure out how to fix it.
I need a vacation. Doesn’t everyone, right? Or maybe just a harmonica and I can play the blues. Does that actually fix anything? Probably not…
♥The Barbosphere♥ 