Headaches.

What gives you a headache just thinking about it?

Right now, everything is giving me a headache. But then again, I haven’t really felt well today, so that’s probably half of it.

The wedding is giving me a headache. Not in a bad way. I just accepted a long time ago that I wouldn’t need to really think about a wedding because who would want to marry me? As a kid that was a hard thing to accept but when you hit about 25, && no one really shows an interest, and a lot of your family basically has accepted they have to take care of you for the rest of time because you’ll be alone – you learn to accept it.

But here it is. 36 years OLD, && I’m looking at getting married. && I’m not one of those girls that has thought about it all their life. You know, once you accept you’ll never get married you stop thinking about it. I feel like I’m running blind. I know I have people in my life that would be willing to assist me in planning it, but at the same time, I’m… some would say I’m weird. Some of the things I want I’m not sure they’d understand until they actually see it happen. Then it will makes sense. But getting to that point.

I have made a few decisions but the hardest one will always be where && how much I’m willing to spend. That && if I even want a full blown wedding. I’ve mentioned it before – maybe elope && then have a party.

I would say I still have so much time to figure it out, but I don’t. If I’m having an actual wedding, && will have to pay for a space to have it at, I need to figure it out very soon – I’ll need to save the money for it.