Places to see. People to do.

Name an attraction or town close to home that you still haven’t got around to visiting.

So I live in southern Oklahoma. So southern that I’m about 15 minutes from Texas. A short trip half way across a bridge – BAM! 💥 I am in Texas. In fact, I am closer to Denton, Texas than Oklahoma City and the same distance from here to Dallas and here to Oklahoma City.

My point?

I have never been to Six Flags over Texas. For the ones not from Oklahoma or Texas, that doesn’t seem like a big deal. However, if you’re from around here && I say that, it still shocks people.

Six Flags over Texas is one of those places people here get yearly passes. They go there all the time. Any chance they get.

Then there’s me. I have been to Walt Disney World in Florida – but not Six Flags. Go figure!

But let’s be honest. I haven’t been to a lot of places. Zoos. Aquariums. Museums. I don’t get out much. Even as a kid, I didn’t have friends that asked me to go places like that with them && my parents didn’t have the money to go.

As a kid I spent a lot of time with my mom – usually wherever she worked, you’d probably be able to find me. So going to places like that just didn’t seem like a big deal.

As an adult, I kind of wish I had gone. But who would I have gone with? && now, those places interest me, but I feel like I am too old. If I had children of my own, I could see going – but I don’t. I feel like those places (even thinking about going to Walt Disney World) are built and made for children to enjoy. Single adults can’t go by themselves.

I mean, yeah… I could “borrow” children from family. But isn’t that weird?

Cat Babies.

Bloganuary writing prompt

If you could make your pet understand one thing, what would it be?

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If I had to pick one thing, && only one thing – I would want them to understand how much I love them.

We have accumulated a lot of cats through the years – not on purpose – some are strays, some are babies of a stray that we thought was a boy who turned out to be a girl cat && now we call her Mommy Bean. Some of them irritate the snot out of me – because you know, they are cats. But at the same time, I love them so much.

I think I’ve mentioned how before I would actually chuckle at people who told me their pets were like children to them. Because who could feel like that? && up until Dotty was born, &&& I fell in love with her, I didn’t think it was possible. But I did. I fell for that Siamese cat like it was something I do all the time.

I’ve had pets before Dotty. I had a cat when I was 15, Kitty Kittie (it’s all she’d answer to), but when I lost her it didn’t hit me like it did Dotty’s death. It’s been almost a year and I still miss her so much. Still cry. Still miss her trying to smother my head.

When I lost her I didn’t want the other cats anymore. Because it hurt my heart to look at them. Horrible, yes, I know. But Lucci, Dotty’s Uncle – he knew I was hurting and sad because he was trying to do what Dotty used to do. Lucci, I love that cat && I hope he knows just how much I love him. I hope Dotty knew how much I loved her. Because I did. I loved her way too much.

My brother && I have always said that we were going to get a really big piece of land && put houses on it together. I told him I was still down for it. But I can’t now. I buried her in this yard && I refuse to leave her again. I guess if I win the lottery I’ll just have to buy out this road.

Starting the day…

My favorite way to start my day is…

…by going back to bed. 😆 All jokes aside, there is a little truth behind that laugh.

I’m not sure I actually like this question. Everyone starts their day about the same. I wake up. Put on glasses. Go to the restroom. Sometimes I lay back down just because I can. Most of the time I put on clothes, take meds, go about my day.

At least we know that this question was not meant to be in the form of a blog.

I almost forgot to write today. Started watching “Young Sheldon” and my mind was occupied. Went to lay down for the night – I have work in the morning so it’s around 6:30 PM – and realized I hadn’t wrote for today. So that’s what I’m doing. I know missing one day is fine, but I don’t want to. I really want to make a good effort in writing at least once a day. Still trying to get that motivation back.

I have also started using my Kindle again. Got a free book this month && so now I’m trying to get back to that. My goal is at least 12 books this year – I read seven last year – which is one book a month. I should be able to do that.

I know today’s entry isn’t the best it could be. But at least it’s something. It’s getting my brain going – which is better than nothing, right?

Lottery Winnings.

Daily writing prompt

What would you do if you won the lottery?

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Boyfriend && I daydream about this a lot. What would we do if we won?

First, of course, is to pay off the house. Mostly so I can get another one. We got shafted hardcore when we bought this house. The two ladies that lived here, who sold it to us, lied about everything. Every. Single. Thing. I’m not a violent person, but I’m pretty sure if I seen them again I’d punch them in the nose. A part of me hopes they read this. So they know how pissed off I am about this house.

So we’ve paid off the house. Bought a new one. Now I’m going to pay off debts. The debts I have gotten because my job, for 11 years, didn’t pay me enough to live comfortably. So now I have things I pay off monthly, so the raise they gave me last year kind of disappeared because that raise is now paying off debts. Which is why I secretly dream about being able to make money off my blog. But that’s for a different day. So credit cards, loans, && the one car we are still paying on. Paid off.

Then I’d buy my brother a house. His dreams was always to buy a large plot of land, put two houses on it, and him && I live on it together. I realized the other day I wouldn’t be able to leave where I live right now. I like the location hate the house so staying here isn’t a huge problem. But I realized that I would have to catch thousands of cats && take them with me. I wouldn’t be able to just leave them. Even the strays. Plus, Baby && Milo, the two cats we lost last year, they are buried here. I won’t leave me alone. Again.

Food truck. That’s next on the list. Told Boyfriend, the first thing on my list is a food truck plus a large truck to pull it. (I asked him the other day what is the first thing he’d want to buy. We actually bought a lottery ticket – but of course – we didn’t win. He said he’d want a better car. Nothing crazy, just something that wouldn’t fall apart on us as fast as the two we have now. But I want my food truck. Or the log building at the end of my road. I’d take that for a café.

After that. I really want to give money to our town. I’d love to redo the town park. Update the toys, repave it.. maybe add a splashpad for the summertime. Possibly buy a piece of land && open a pool – if the town didn’t disagree with it. I would also love to open a cat sanctuary. I know that sounds weird – but there isn’t any. They have places to take dogs, rabbits, pigs, etc. but no one has anything that takes cats. Pounds take cats. Then kill them. I don’t want all the cats on the planet to die. So we figured why not?

It’s nice to dream about it though. Dream about what I could do to help. I’m telling you, I’d be a fantastic rich person. I’d probably be so fantastic that I’d eventually be poor again. I told Boyfriend to be honest I don’t need millions of dollars. I just need about $500,000 && I’d be set for life. Well, not life. But I could get a new house and pay off debts. If I did that I would be great. Then I could look into the future smiling.

I still do my joke though. Telling people if every person who comes across me cashapp’d me one dollar. Just one single dollar. I’d eventually get to the amount I really needed. $HightowerBarb *winks* I did it a couple weeks ago && got 4$. Plus, my theory – most people can give someone a dollar without batting an eye. It’s simple and most don’t think about a dollar. Has it worked? No. Not in the least.

Dear Teenage Barbara,

I know I’m starting this Bloganuary late – since today is the 25th – but I like the idea so I’m going to see how many I can write throughout the rest of the month. But you always start with the first one.

If I could give my teenage self any advice I would first tell her not to let people, including family, dictate what you can or what you can’t do. As a teenager I wanted to dance/sing. That’s all I ever thought about. But I let people convince me that as an overweight child/teenager, I wouldn’t be able to do it. I wouldn’t get picked. I couldn’t dance. I couldn’t do much. Who likes overweight dancers? I also let my weight stop me from playing soft ball because people told me fat kids can’t do that. I let my weight stop me a lot. I let other people tell me how good I was or wasn’t, && I let that be who I was. I would tell Teenage Barbara not to. Don’t let that happen. Don’t let the bullies && liars tell you that you’re worthless just because you’re not a size four.

I would tell her not to be scared. My life has been full of “what if’s” && a lot of them are because growing up I let fear rule me. I never actually tried doing anything as a child because my fear overcame every thought I may have had. If I could I would scream at her to do the things in life she wanted to do. Live life to the fullest && don’t let the fears tear you down.

I would tell her to not stand under the bleachers in eighth grade && cry over a boy that didn’t give two shits about her. That day is still imprinted in my mind. Because that’s the first && ONLY time I ever cried when it came to a guy. It’s also the day I stopped trying, caring, or wanting a boyfriend. That’s the day a guy, who didn’t have any feelings for me (friend or otherwise) crushed my soul. One guy. The only guy. Crushed every part of me that lived. && I stood in the dark, under the bleachers that he was sitting in, && cried. I would tell her to not let a guy, especially that guy, rule how she feels about herself or even other guys. I think he is the reason why I chose to be alone && never got close enough to a guy to let them hurt me. I didn’t feel anything for a guy again, like I felt for him, until Boyfriend. I would tell her a guy will come along && love her for who she is. Who will want to be with her. Be seen with her. Not hide her away. Will hold her hand in public. I would tell her to not stop but keep going. &&& please, for the love of God, stop crushing on the douche just because he’s cute.

I would tell her to dance in the rain. Walk barefooted through a field of wild flowers. Take pictures. Love like you’ve never loved before. Hold on to the memories. Learn to cook (because that’s going to be a passion). Don’t stop writing just because someone says it’s always dark. Realize a lot sooner in life that depression sucks, but you’ll find a way in the world with it. Cry. Laugh. Love. Feel deep for everything. && do not let anyone change who you are.

You are perfect.
You are who you were supposed to be.
You are who God designed.
You are you.
You are loved.
You are adored.
You are funny!
You bring light to the dark world && people love you for it.

I would also tell her there are people who will take all of this for granted. You won’t realize it for a while but when you do, it’ll make you a better person. You’re going to hate, and dislike so much. But in the same sense you’re going to see rainbows && unicorns when others see tornadoes and hurricanes.

The one thing I would tell her is to live the life that you’re proud of. Write the country song. Bake the cake. Never forget to tell people in your life that you love them. && when dark clouds come rolling in, try to find the positive and keep on a booking.