Dream Home.

Write about your dream home.

First – the kitchen has to be HUGE! Like… lots of room. Lots of counter space. I want a walk-in pantry that has shelves throughout it, plus, on the walls, I want can holders built in. I want an island in the middle of the kitchen that has a sink built in the top, the side of the island to have a built-in fridge, small just for drinks – I want plugs to be on the opposite side of the island. I want a water faucet, those long thing ones, above the stove that shoots out hot water. I want electrical plugs and lights up underneath the cabinets. OOH… I want so many cabinets.

Living room needs to have a whole spot for the television, gaming systems, and sound system. Plus, I’d love a working fireplace – and a small stage off to the side in front of a set of windows with small railings around it. That’s for my Christmas tree. I don’t know what I’ll use it for after that, but I definitely want it for my tree.

Along the ceiling connecting each room I want a catwalk. Yeah, I said a catwalk. Not for models. But for cats. I want them to be able to walk from room to room without actually touching the floor. They’ll be spots along the way that has tiny beds where they can sleep. Then of course, I’ll want a room just for the cats that will house their belongings && a built-in cat bed window. You’ve seen them… the ones they build for inside cats to get sun – so it pokes out and it hangs. One of those.

My bedroom. I want it cozy. Maybe a smaller fireplace, but it’s not a necessity. A large, walk-in closet that has places to put shoes, and your clothes, and of course space for putting things up. A built-in master bathroom that has a huge tub for soaking. Two sinks with lots – && I MEAN LOTS – of storage space. (My bathroom right now has no spot for towels. It’s crazy.) I want a whole row of drawers along one wall, a small closet inside the restroom for towels, and then a tall thin closet for toilet paper. I want a huge shower, one that you have a spot to sit down in if you wanted to. I want the water to come from the ceiling rather than in front of me.

An extra bedroom for people that need a place to sleep. It’ll be an average looking bedroom. Small closet with a built-in dresser inside the closet.

I will need an exercise / computer room. Kind of like I do now, except it will have bookshelves built in. It will kind of be like a small library except with exercise equipment and a computer.

Boyfriend talks about having a room for his game systems, but I’d rather just built that into the living room – that way I know I will be able to see him. I usually just read, or play on my phone, when he is playing his games. If he has his own room for it, I don’t think I’ll ever see him. && I don’t like that idea – at all.

Laundry room – I want a large space. With shelves, a small sink and places to hang things if I need to. I want it off the back of the house, where the backdoor is connected to it. Outside the backdoor would be the garage – then the laundry room is connected to the kitchen, with a door, so when you buy groceries, you can just bring them through the laundry room.

I want a staircase. Just one. One that circles and the only thing upstairs will be my bedroom / bathroom. I’ve always had dreams of being able to decorate a banister for Christmas. ((Yes, a lot of my dream house relies heavily on Christmas ideas. But if you knew me, that wouldn’t surprise you.))

Outside I would want a fire pit, a storage building, and a cellar (I do live in Oklahoma). Beautiful green grass and my two cats that are buried in the yard to have a beautiful spot. I want to decorate them for them, so they know I still think about them on the daily. Especially Babykins – I miss her so much.

I’m sure there would be more to my dream house, but this is what I can think of at this moment.

Parents.

What were your parents doing at your age?

I am 36 years old right now.

My parents – at 36:

My mom was 36 in 1998 – a mother of two and married to my father. Four years before she passed away. My brother was 12 && I was 11. She worked at… I want to say a restaurant called “Baldwins” – she was a cook.

My dad was 36 in 1983 – a father of four (three boys && one girl) and married to his second wife – who he was in the process of divorcing. He was a drunk – this was a year before he met my mother – three years before they’d be married. If memories are correct, he’d go to jail at night && sleep there, during the day they’d let him out to go to work. He worked at a… junk yard? named Dulaney’s in Amarillo, Texas.

I never really notice an age difference until I start doing things like this. My mom was 36 in 1998 when my dad was 51 – my dad was 36 in 1983 when my mom was 21. In 1983, my dad had four children, ages 16, 14, 7, & 4. They both lived in Amarillo, Texas though.

They eventually met in 1984. Got married in 1986 on their lunch break at work and went bowling that night.

They are both gone now. Mom died in 2003 at 40. Dad died in 2011 at 63.

Books.

I think I have realized that I may like books a lot of people don’t like.

I finished the Colleen Hoover book, “It Ends with Us”, yesterday. When I was scrolling through the comments about it on Goodreads, I realized a lot of people didn’t like the book. They called the book && author toxic because she didn’t add a “trigger warning” to the book. Apparently, according to the comments left, she didn’t want to add a trigger warning to it but what I’ve read from what she has said about the book, she hasn’t tried to play it off as anything other than what it is. That’s half the reason I read it.

I really enjoyed “It Ends with Us” – but I liked the backstory of Lily & Atlas more than Lily & Ryle. I mean, other than the obvious reason, I liked the journal entries that had to do with Atlas, their story was greater in my opinion than that of Ryle.

So, when I heard that “It Starts with Us” about Lily & Atlas, of course I want to read it. I went and added it to my “reading” section of Goodreads, and out of curiosity I was scrolling through the comments of the book. Reviews, if you will. Most of them say the same thing “why does this book exist?” – which seems harsh to me. Apparently, it exists because people wanted her to write it. Why ask her to write something then bash the book? I don’t know… a lot of the other comments were about how they don’t like Colleen Hoover and cannot understand why they or anyone else reads anything written by Colleen Hoover. Honestly, people seem to enjoy her books. Do I like Tessa Bailey more than Colleen Hoover? Yes, I do. But that’s just the slutty part of my brain.

Colleen Hoover does the “use your imagination on the fun parts”. Tessa Bailey goes into more detail. But other than that, their writing is similar.

Either way. I’m going to read “It Starts with Us” && see what I think about it. If I read it like I did the first one, I’ll be done tomorrow && I’ll let you know if this book should exist or not. I’m hoping for the best.

&& Here We Go.

I’m struggling tonight on what to write about. Been sitting in bed thinking – I just cannot seem to think of anything.

I finally finished reading “The New House” by Tessa Stimson. It basically finished the way I figured it would, but I was hoping it wouldn’t. I wanted more for that character. It was a tough read. I got to 35% read before it began getting good. Once I hit the ‘good spot’ I was able to read through the rest. So if you read it, don’t give up. (I had to read six novellas to actually finish it).

Today I started reading “It Ends With Us” by Colleen Hoover. I’m half way through it right now. I should finish it tomorrow if not Saturday then I will start the second one.

I guess since my brain is bad I tonight I’m just going to curl up in bed while I Love Lucy plays in the background to get some sleep. I have work tomorrow.

Break Me Off A Piece.

Do you need a break? From what?

Honestly, sometimes I feel like I just need a break from life. Not death. I don’t want to die. 💀 Just a break. A vacation from life, if you will.

Most like to say a break from work. Work is fine. It’s life. Or they’ll say family. I like my family. But sometimes a small break from life would be grand.

Not a forever break, of course. Just a few hours. Like sleep in the other room break. Go stay at my brother’s house sort of break. Go to the grocery store alone break. Read a long book in a room alone break. Play a video game without kids screaming your name break. (I have no kids, but you get it). Take a long rod trip with no destination break. Go to the movie theater and sit in the back break. Eat a whole box of popcorn break.

Just a break.

Journey Restarted.

Today was my second-first consultation with the weight loss surgeon. I didn’t think he would remember me, but when he walked in he smiled && said “welcome back”. Then of course asked “so, what happened?” I told him the truth – money issues.

It was the same as the first time we spoke last year. I’m going to get the duodenal switch. Basically they will take half of my stomach out && hook my intestines up a little different. (If I can get my computer to load it, I’ll put a picture in that shows it).

I’m excited && petrified at the same time. It’s a weird feeling. (I hope the picture is clear for y’all, it’s a little blurry on my screen).

I have already set up all three of my dietician appointments (have to have three, once a month) for the insurance && doctors approval. The only thing different on the page of “what I must accomplish before surgery” was that he wants a list of diets && exercises I have done in the past. I figured I have a week to get that done – my first dietician appointment is next Tuesday (February 13th).

I’m excited because I may actually fix a couple of my health issues. I won’t say it all because I don’t know that it will. Everyone I talk to that has had the surgery is no longer diabetic && doesn’t have high blood pressure anymore. That’s two issues. The kidney issues will be helped by not having those anymore – but where my kidney’s stand right now is where they’ll be until they just get worse. The heart issues SHOULD – && I say should – get a little better. But I don’t know if I’ll be off my medication for that – or the kidneys.

I’m petrified of being put under. I am scared every time I’ve ever been put under. I was put under when they took out my gallbladder && I was put under for a colonoscopy. The colonoscopy – other than kind of waking up in the middle of the procedure – it was fine. When I had my gallbladder taken out && they woke me up, I nearly punched a nurse. I remember four nurses holding me down. I’m scared that I won’t wake up from it. I know it’s rare for that to happen, but the bigger you are, the more chance of it you have. Especially when you have issues sleeping, high blood pressure, etc.

Then of course, I think I’ve mentioned that I have unrealistic worries.
I worry that I will have a big head.
I worry that it won’t fix my health issues.
I worry that the surgery won’t work.
I worry that I will lose too much weight.
I worry Boyfriend is going to leave. Which, by the way, I didn’t have this worry until a guy I used to work with told me “you know Barb, he started dating you overweight, what’s going to happen if you lose the weight? He may leave.” Ugh! Stupid Mario!
I worry my personality will change.
I worry I will no longer be funny.
See? Dumb worries.

But! I’m excited at the idea that I can buy clothes in stores.
Have a lap my cats can sit in.
Maybe run a marathon?
Have a jawline for the first time in my life.

Remind me to write a blog telling you guys about how long I have been overweight && the fact that I have never been thin. Because that’s going to be a shock!

OH! I also worry that I am going to be uglier than I am now. Most people that have had the surgery – they are breathtaking. Then there is like a 23% of people that… I look at the before picture, when they are overweight, and then look at the skinny version of them && I think hmm… you were better looking fat. I don’t want that. I mean it’s fine if I am not drop dead gorgeous, I don’t know if I’d know what to do. But I don’t want to be uglier than I am right now. You know?

To-do List.

Something on your “to-do list” that never gets done.

That’s easy: dishes && laundry.

I know it said one thing but I’m pretty sure my dishes and laundry is in the same pot. I feel like the more I do of each, the more there is to do. Like they multiply. They have sex in the night && by morning they’ve reproduced by the millions.

Our dish washer broke. 😞 So it is going to be even more of a headache to do the dishes. But then again, I haven’t met anyone that loves to do dishes. Do you love to do dishes?

It takes three to four times to dry out laundry. Then when we finally get it dry, takes me another fourteen ages to actually fold and put it up. But I think a lot of people do that. 😂😂 When I lived alone I would do laundry, end up putting it on my bed, && sleeping with it for a good month. 🧺

But what can I say? 🍽️ 🧺

Hands Free – Good or No?

First, I’m sad. I was so tired last night that I forgot to write. So, I lost my streak – I was up to 33 days. I really wanted to hit 365 days by the end of the year, but it’s okay. It’s just one day. I’ll get back on track.

I went && looked for it – the other day I saw a topic idea that was “if you could uninvent something, what would it be?” At the time of seeing it, I couldn’t think of anything but now I know what I would throw in the trash if I could.

Hands free sinks.

You may be thinking, but they are there to keep you from having to touch the sink. Here’s my issue with them. THEY NEVER WORK. You stand there for ten minutes looking like a complete idiot because you can’t get a single one to work.

I went to Wal-Mart the other day – had to use the restroom – they have eight sinks. EIGHT! I started on one end and attempted to turn on all of them. I finally found one, that barely gave any water. Seriously though. If you’re going to have those hand free faucets, you need them to work.

I just miss the ability to turn on a sink using a handle. (As I’ve said before, I’m sure I’m still living in the 90’s). I miss the ability to decide if I want freezing cold water or warm water or scalding hot water. The sinks at my job during the winter are freezing cold. During the summer, it’s scalding. There is no in between. I know we have the ability to change the way the sinks work, but they won’t. If they’d just put the handles back on the sinks, I’d be a happy camper. It makes washing my hands irritating.

***
So, I guess I’m back at day one in my writing. Hopefully I don’t fall off the wagon again – but I’m pretty sure it’s going to happen. I’ll probably end up not writing for weeks at a time && picking it back up. I do that.

Places to see. People to do.

Name an attraction or town close to home that you still haven’t got around to visiting.

So I live in southern Oklahoma. So southern that I’m about 15 minutes from Texas. A short trip half way across a bridge – BAM! 💥 I am in Texas. In fact, I am closer to Denton, Texas than Oklahoma City and the same distance from here to Dallas and here to Oklahoma City.

My point?

I have never been to Six Flags over Texas. For the ones not from Oklahoma or Texas, that doesn’t seem like a big deal. However, if you’re from around here && I say that, it still shocks people.

Six Flags over Texas is one of those places people here get yearly passes. They go there all the time. Any chance they get.

Then there’s me. I have been to Walt Disney World in Florida – but not Six Flags. Go figure!

But let’s be honest. I haven’t been to a lot of places. Zoos. Aquariums. Museums. I don’t get out much. Even as a kid, I didn’t have friends that asked me to go places like that with them && my parents didn’t have the money to go.

As a kid I spent a lot of time with my mom – usually wherever she worked, you’d probably be able to find me. So going to places like that just didn’t seem like a big deal.

As an adult, I kind of wish I had gone. But who would I have gone with? && now, those places interest me, but I feel like I am too old. If I had children of my own, I could see going – but I don’t. I feel like those places (even thinking about going to Walt Disney World) are built and made for children to enjoy. Single adults can’t go by themselves.

I mean, yeah… I could “borrow” children from family. But isn’t that weird?

First and Foremost.

Write about your first computer.

I was twelve when we got the first family computer. So approximately 1999.

It wasn’t fancy, just an average white computer. 💻 I am pretty sure it was the same computer most families bought. Except for my best friend who had one of those clear backs with color made by McIntosh and sold my Apple – “iMac”. I was so jealous of her computer. I wanted one so bad! Hers was blue.

I do remember being fascinated by it. (Kind of still am fascinated by computers). It’s the reason I took computer classes in middle and high school. I’m pretty sure it’s the reason I took computers in college. && I’m pretty sure I can blame that, and my High School computer teacher, as to why I can type 100 words per minute.

We had dial up. So I always had to ask permission to get online. But at 12, I didn’t find much use online. My mom used it the most to talk to my cousin who lived in Michigan. They used to write handwritten letters to each other, then they got computers. (Well, sometimes they used a typewriter but mostly written by hand. *pretty sure that’s where I get my love of being a pen-pal).

I didn’t really get into computers – staying on them for hours and hours – until I was around 16. That’s when I dropped out of high school. That’s when I became a whole different person. Online I was the version of myself I always wanted to be. In person – most people didn’t know I still existed. *that’s more true than I’d like to admit*

I lived on the computer until I was in my early 20’s. After that I couldn’t figure out what I did online that took so much of my time. So much of my life. Now I will get on the computer for writing purposes (I also work with computers), or maybe to Google something. I am not on it very long – if I get on it.

Today I have a Dell computer that I bought off Amazon. It came with two monitors and a keyboard. The monitors didn’t work and the keyboard was trash. So I bought a monitor from Wal-Mart – it MIGHT be Samsung or an off brand something or another. The keyboard lights up and I bought it on New Egg. 🥚