Tag: dailyprompt

Promises.

Daily writing prompt
What’s a promise you made to yourself that you’ve actually kept?
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I have probably made a million promises to myself that most I didn’t keep. But I’ll always have one that I kept because it’s something I needed for myself: be true to who I am && love myself.

Let’s start here for a moment: I went this past Saturday (the 18th) to the reunion of the high school class I attended school with. One comment stuck out to me the most. One of the guys I had no issues with growing up stopped, leaned against a chair && told me, “Barb. You really did come out of your shell since school.”

Came out of my shell.

That wasn’t easy for me. I let my personality, as I do believe I have stated, be defined by the people that has been in my life. Not so much just high school peers, but everyone. I have always been the “fat friend”, the “ugly friend”, the “friend that doesn’t care”. When you hit a certain age, you realize you can’t live your life like that.

I’m also not saying that I’m no longer the “fat, ugly, friend that doesn’t care”. What I’m saying is that I found myself along the way. I dropped friends, I moved on, and I had to come to terms with who I am && it’s all I can be. Sometimes, I wish more people could do that sooner in life. It wasn’t “soon” in my life, either && sometimes I’m sad about that. I lived a very long time believing what others said or thought.

It took an emotional breakdown.
Losing friends.
Having ex-boyfriends ask me why my friends didn’t like them.
Hearing statements like “if you were thinner, you’d be cute.”

The emotional breakdown – I was twenty. My brother had no idea what to do because when I broke – I broke. He ended up sending me to my grandfather’s house. For four months I lived in Amarillo, Texas and spent time with my grandfather *mom’s dad*, and my Aunt & Uncle *dad’s brother*. I ran to Amarillo a lot when I was younger. 15. 17. 20. I remember spending my 21st birthday with my grandfather (Papa Dad). I remember him buying me a birthday cake, it was yellow. Him && I spent the evening together watching television and having cake. That was probably one of my favorite birthday’s.

I walked away from many friends. Friends who weren’t doing anything for me mentally, emotionally, or helping my maturity level. It was hard and anyone that had to walk away from friendships understand, but for me to find me, love me, enjoy me – finally be the person I always wanted – I had to walk away.

Ex-boyfriends are exes for a reason. I can say that my last boyfriend was when I was 21 – after him, the two before, I realized that what I was searching for in a guy I wasn’t going to find. At least there, in that point in my life. So, I stopped. I just stopped. Of course, when someone asked, I always said what they expected, “guys don’t find me attractive and I’m happy just being the friend.” I had a guy tell me once, “it’s cute that you like me, but you’re not my type”. I wasn’t attracted to him – but for some reason, it never failed, if I was nice to a guy, they just assumed that I wanted them. I didn’t. && yes, I did have an ex-boyfriend ask me why my friends didn’t like him like that. I was single until I was twenty-six and I think it’s because the guy I wanted, that I felt a connection with, I had “met” when I was eighteen. I honestly think I secretly compared all the guys after that (which was all of my exes) to THAT guy.

He came back when I was twenty-six. We’re married now.

Just an FYI, moment. I have lost 150 pounds since November 2024 – I look exactly the same. So, if I were ugly then.. I’m still ugly.

But for me. I do agree that I came out of my shell. It’s because I found me. I found my personality. Do I still have days that are hard? Yes. I think I always will. However, my promise to myself to be a better me and be happy and love myself – I’ve kept that.

Even on the hardest of day.
Even on the days I start laughing so hard I end up crying.
Even the days where I’m alone, leaning on a wall watching people interact and looking straight through me.
Even the moments where I don’t understand what’s happening in my head.
Even the times where I lose my crap and scream at a co-worker and end up in trouble.
Even the hours where I just want to sit in bed in the dark listening to “I Love Lucy”.
Even the points in life where nothing makes me happy and I just exist.

In all of those moments – I will still always choose myself.

I know what I want out of life. && I’ll make a promise on top of my best promise – I promise that I will achieve what I want. Even if it takes me until I’m 96 – I will achieve my goals.

Fictional Dinner Date.

Daily writing prompt
If you could have dinner with any fictional character, who would it be?
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Today I figured I would do a daily prompt instead of my normal ramblings. (Plus, I don’t really have much to talk about). If I chose a fictional character to have dinner with, it wouldn’t need to think about it too hard – Lucy Ricardo.

Could you imagine having dinner with her especially after the episode where they go to the Italian restaurant and keep moving around making the waiter quit? Or the episode where the guys leave them at the restaurant because they wanted to be treated the same but end up having to wash dishes? Then calls the boys to say they were almost done – then pretends that they were shot. The boys show up, get arrested.

Lucille Ball also happens to be a famous person (alive or dead idea) that I would want to spend a dinner with as a real person. I would love to talk to her about what gave her the… nerve, if you will, to do what her heart wants without fearing consequences.

Future City Traveling.

Daily writing prompt
What cities do you want to visit?
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United States:
1. Galveston, Texas
2. Branson, Missouri
3. Chicago, Illinois
4. New York City, New York
5. Jamestown, New York
6. Las Vegas, Nevada
7. Boston, Massachusetts
8. Cambridge, Massachusetts
9. Portland, Maine
10. Bar Harbor, Maine
11. New Orleans, Louisiana
12. Baton Rouge, Louisiana
13. It’s not a city, but the four corners
14. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
15. Anchorage, Alaska
16. Honolulu, Hawaii

Canada:
1. Toronto

Overseas:
1. Seoul, South Korea
2. Beijing, China
3. Cairo, Egypt
4. Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
5. Auckland, New Zealand
6. London, England, United Kingdom
7. Berlin, Germany
8. Dublin, Ireland

&& no, I’m not very traveled. >Broke<
I didn’t add reasons behind it because some are a “duh”. The ones that aren’t, meh, that’s my secrets.

TV Shows – Rewatching

Daily writing prompt
What movies or TV series have you watched more than 5 times?
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I watch two shows yearly: Buffy the Vampire Slayer && Charmed.

I have been watching these two shows yearly for a while now, I don’t think I can even tell you how many years. I have even bought the whole series of Buffy on DVD, just in case they stop streaming it.

I saw the other day that they were in talks of remaking it. Not really “remaking it” but bringing back the cast and making another season. I’m not sure I like the idea. But the child part of me likes the idea. Sarah Michelle Gellar said she’s willing to come back and do it, and she’s the one that has been in talks with Hulu to bring it back.

Here’s my thing. I love that show – I watched it as a child when it was first put on screen, so in 1998ish – I was 11. I used to watch it weekly with my mom, which is probably half the reason I find the show comforting. But honestly, if we are being honest here, they should have cancelled the show around season four. When they blew up the high school && Angel and Cordelia left.

Or, okay, let ‘s say four wasn’t the end – they probably should have stopped when Buffy jumped off the tower and into the swirly bits to protect Dawn. Honestly, they should have never brought her back to life. Because let’s be honest – the fact that they even remotely thought that she was in Hell was a complete sham. Buffy Summers saved the world, a lot. She wasn’t evil. She might have done some things that might have seemed evil, but Buffy was far from it.

&&& I hate what they did with the character of Dawn. She was made from Buffy. I think she should have been stronger. I think they should have made her a slayer. && if not, they could have made her a Guardian. They only spoke of them once, && I’m not sure they were called Guardians. But I think they could have done so much with that character. && sadly, now, we’ll never have a chance. Because I swear to everything green && holy, if they bring back that show, and they recast Dawn with another actress – I’ll riot. Michelle Trachtenberg is the only Dawn I’ll ever want to see in that series. Remember. I. Will. Riot.

People are still mad about David Boreanaz not wanting to reprise the role of Angel. He moved on. Let him stay moved on. Don’t get me wrong, if he wants to come back and be Angel again, let him, but don’t be mad at him if he doesn’t want to. You still have James Masters, he’ll reprise Spike.

Then of course there is the ones who said, “I don’t watch this show if they let Nicholas Brendon come back”. I will end that thought there, I have no thoughts about it.

The only thought I have about bringing back Buffy is…. you saw what they did to Charmed, right? Yes, I know it was a whole different cast && they didn’t allow the old cast to even be a part of it. But it wasn’t good. It looked like, from what I could tell, I only watched season one, that they followed the plot line of the original. Start with three sisters. One dies. Then finds out they have another sister.

I stopped watching it because I’m not one of those females that walk around screaming “GO WOMEN”, “WOMEN ARE GOOD MEN ARE BAD”. That’s what they did to that remake. They made it all about women && they didn’t have to.

Here’s a concept to think about. The original Charmed TV show was about women. Women doing great things and having power that men didn’t. Taking men down and women too. It was very much “woman powered”, but it didn’t throw it down your throat – the remake of Charmed, did. (That’s also why I stopped watching The Connors – well, besides it not having Roseanne in it, and they said that she died of an opioid overdose. Don’t get me started on how messed up that is. But when the Connors continued without Roseanne, and Darlene basically became the main star, they turned that into “women good – men bad”. && I hated what they did to the character of David.)

Basically, I’m not a feminist. I’m telling you right now, there are things men do I refuse to do. I don’t want to do it. && I’m also not one of the ones who think men are allowed to do things women aren’t. Tell me one thing ((&& do not tell me ‘not get raped’)) that men can do a woman can’t. Change my mind.

P.S. For anyone out there that has strong convictions that Buffy needs to be remade with a black slayer. Did everyone just forget about Kendra? The slayer who replaced Buffy when she died in Season One. The slayer who was a better character than Faith ever thought about being. The slayer they let be killed off by Drusilla so Faith could bloom. Forget about her?

P.P.S. I really hated the character of Kennedy.

P.P.P.S. I don’t think they should have killed Amber.

P.P.P.P.S. Sineya, the first slayer, was black. Try to tell me otherwise. Nikki Wood, Principal Wood’s mother. Remember? Spike killed her in the train in New York. Black. I could probably keep going on this for a while. Stop saying that Buffy was a bad show just because the main slayer on it was a white, blond girl. The second most powerful slayer on that show, Kendra, wasn’t white. I was always sad that they killed her – I think they should have let her stay. Faith was fine – but I liked Kendra better.

“I am Kendra. The Vumpire Slaya.”

Just for one day.

What’s a job you would like to do for just one day?

This is silly. But I would like to work in a Chinese restaurant for just one day.

My reasoning? I really, really, really want to know how Chinese restaurants make their egg drop soup.

I have found a few recipes I like. One more than the others. But it still doesn’t taste or feel like theirs. Theirs is creamy, thick && oh so delicious. Mine comes out good, but doesn’t have that creamy factor that the restaurants have.

Or… a bakery.

I try to do a side hustle of making desserts – who doesn’t love or buy desserts. (Besides me). But I can’t make icing and would love to work in a bakery just to learn how to make it properly.

Gabriel’s Inferno.

Daily writing prompt
What book could you read over and over again?
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Some might find this hard to pick just one book. But it’s really not. && I know I have talked about the book series a lot but it’s still that one book that I could and have read over && over agagin.

“Gabriel’s Inferno” by Sylvain Reynard.

I don’t know what it is about that book or even the series, but it’ll always have a place in my heart. I could read million more books but that book – that series – will always be the books I buy people if they haven’t read it and are readers.

Journey Restarted: Part 2

What is the biggest challenge you will face in the next six months?

I don’t want to look at it like a challenge. But at the same time, I know there will be challenges included into it. My biggest challenge in the next six months will be the weight loss surgery. I know I will be great && do just fine, but there will be challenges.

Right now, I am just zooming through the objectives I have to accomplish before I can even have surgery. I went to the first of three dietician appointments this month. She basically said the same thing the last one did – although, I was a little surprised to see that it wasn’t the same dietician as it was last year. && good news! She didn’t yell at me. She wants me to walk daily, for thirty minutes, to get in the habit because I’ll need to do so after surgery. One of the first things that you lose is muscle mass, so I have to be on top of that. What else did we talk about?

Last week I had the appointment with the, pardon me for what I call it, crazy doctor. This was the same one I spoke to in 2022 when I started the first journey. She asked the same questions and was excited about the same things when I talked about them. Mostly, the fact that I love to cook – she said that is one step in the right direction. She does have a lot of faith in me though. She said she can see me doing really well at this journey && has no worries about approving me to do it.

Next month will be my second of third dietician visits, && then I have a few more things I have to do. But I’m just cruising right along so far.

Fun Foods.

What’s your favorite thing to cook?

I didn’t write yesterday. I have no excuse. I just didn’t want to. Instead, I just went to bed. Today is a new day. We’ll start again.

I don’t think I have a favorite thing to cook. Boyfriend would probably say pasta. But when it comes to cooking, I just enjoy every part of it. Everything I cook I enjoy cooking. 

I have mentioned before how much I love cooking. Anything and everything. I love finding new recipes and trying something that I have never tried before. 

************I started this a couple of days ago && I was looking at drafts I had so I figured I would clear them out.****************

Lately, I would probably say my favorite thing to cook is any form of soup. That’s because lately, all I crave is soup. Chicken soup. Egg drop soup. Wonton soup. I just cannot seem to get enough soup. I had soup last night for dinner && then I had some for breakfast today. I have been going to the local Chinese restaurant a lot lately just to get some egg-drop soup. Yes, I can make it, but as I’ve said in the past, it just doesn’t taste as good as theirs. Sometimes I think I just need to go work part-time at a Chinese restaurant so I can learn to make it properly. I don’t think I use enough cornstarch.

Normally I want to try && make anything I can possibly make. But the funds haven’t been there to do that. So, I end up just making what I can afford. I have been enjoying a buffalo chicken and cheesy cauliflower. I take chicken thighs and pan fry them with some buffalo seasoning, pepper, garlic && onion powder in butter. I take cauliflower and cut it up into bite sized pieces and bake it until it’s fork tender with some of the buffalo seasoning, pepper, onion && garlic powder with extra virgin olive oil. The last step is a creamy cheese I found at Wal-Mart, I usually use two boxes of it (we really like cheese), I pour some buffalo sauce into the cheese and warm it up. I don’t measure when I cook, so I just pour the buffalo sauce into the cheese until my ancestors tell me no more. Once everything is finished – I put the cauliflower onto the plate, put some cheese, top it with the chicken, and add a tad bit more cheese. It’s so delicious. && if you’re low carb, there you go.

I cook a lot of chicken and pork – they are both extremely cheap. So, I can afford that. My next chicken dish I’m going to figure out is the chicken on a stick you get at Chinese restaurants.

Oh! I can’t forget the kimchi and tofu stew that I LOVE to make. It has an actual name… let me google it… “Kimchi jjigae”. Now, before someone comes at me saying “you’re white, you can’t cook that stuff”. Yes, I am white. Yes, I know I am not Korean, and it’ll never taste the same. But when I make things like this I never… NEVER say it’s authentic. Nothing I make is technically “authentic”. You’re probably wondering why. America is a boiling pot of different people. Different foods. America shares food – you can go north and taste something, south and taste something different. Other than a hot dog and hamburger (which might not even have started here), what is “American”. && I personally find Korean dishes interesting. Most, I’ve noticed, seem to be into Japanese food more, but me… bring me the Korean dishes. Then of course the Americanized Chinese food. Or is it called Westernized Chinese food? I just know what we have here in America that we call “Chinese food” isn’t what the people of China eat.

So, see! I am a huge fan of trying different foods and making different styles of food. My big thing though, I want to find actual restaurants that serves these foods, so I know what they are supposed to taste like. Let’s use the kimchi jjigae for an example. I know the recipe calls for tuna – I have gout, and I’m scared to eat tuna – so I use pork ribs. That’s not how it’s made. But it’s how I make it. Plus, I don’t have a Korean market close by me – sadly – so I buy kimchi at Wal-Mart in the vegetable section. That will make it taste different too. I know where a Korean market is – there is an H-Mart in Carrollton, Texas – however, that’s nearly two hours away from me. Then there is one north of me in Norman, Oklahoma, but that is also two hours away from me. I’m just in a horrible spot to live in for my creative taste buds.

But boyfriend really loves it when I make chicken fried steaks. Which is an Oklahoma favorite – which I actually love making those too. But with diabetes it’s hard to really enjoy them because in the back of my mind all I’m thinking about it how high is my blood sugar going to get tonight. Having the issues I have, it’s hard to do much when it comes to food. Rice. Pasta. Breaded foods. Some of my favorite things && I just can’t do it. && yes, I do know after the weight loss surgery they’ll still be off limits. But to be honest, I don’t think they’ll be quite as off limits as they are right now. But still off limits.

So, I’ve been trying to do a lot more cauliflower-based dishes. I enjoy me some cauliflower. I have another favorite that I may share with you on another day for another post.

Dream Home.

Write about your dream home.

First – the kitchen has to be HUGE! Like… lots of room. Lots of counter space. I want a walk-in pantry that has shelves throughout it, plus, on the walls, I want can holders built in. I want an island in the middle of the kitchen that has a sink built in the top, the side of the island to have a built-in fridge, small just for drinks – I want plugs to be on the opposite side of the island. I want a water faucet, those long thing ones, above the stove that shoots out hot water. I want electrical plugs and lights up underneath the cabinets. OOH… I want so many cabinets.

Living room needs to have a whole spot for the television, gaming systems, and sound system. Plus, I’d love a working fireplace – and a small stage off to the side in front of a set of windows with small railings around it. That’s for my Christmas tree. I don’t know what I’ll use it for after that, but I definitely want it for my tree.

Along the ceiling connecting each room I want a catwalk. Yeah, I said a catwalk. Not for models. But for cats. I want them to be able to walk from room to room without actually touching the floor. They’ll be spots along the way that has tiny beds where they can sleep. Then of course, I’ll want a room just for the cats that will house their belongings && a built-in cat bed window. You’ve seen them… the ones they build for inside cats to get sun – so it pokes out and it hangs. One of those.

My bedroom. I want it cozy. Maybe a smaller fireplace, but it’s not a necessity. A large, walk-in closet that has places to put shoes, and your clothes, and of course space for putting things up. A built-in master bathroom that has a huge tub for soaking. Two sinks with lots – && I MEAN LOTS – of storage space. (My bathroom right now has no spot for towels. It’s crazy.) I want a whole row of drawers along one wall, a small closet inside the restroom for towels, and then a tall thin closet for toilet paper. I want a huge shower, one that you have a spot to sit down in if you wanted to. I want the water to come from the ceiling rather than in front of me.

An extra bedroom for people that need a place to sleep. It’ll be an average looking bedroom. Small closet with a built-in dresser inside the closet.

I will need an exercise / computer room. Kind of like I do now, except it will have bookshelves built in. It will kind of be like a small library except with exercise equipment and a computer.

Boyfriend talks about having a room for his game systems, but I’d rather just built that into the living room – that way I know I will be able to see him. I usually just read, or play on my phone, when he is playing his games. If he has his own room for it, I don’t think I’ll ever see him. && I don’t like that idea – at all.

Laundry room – I want a large space. With shelves, a small sink and places to hang things if I need to. I want it off the back of the house, where the backdoor is connected to it. Outside the backdoor would be the garage – then the laundry room is connected to the kitchen, with a door, so when you buy groceries, you can just bring them through the laundry room.

I want a staircase. Just one. One that circles and the only thing upstairs will be my bedroom / bathroom. I’ve always had dreams of being able to decorate a banister for Christmas. ((Yes, a lot of my dream house relies heavily on Christmas ideas. But if you knew me, that wouldn’t surprise you.))

Outside I would want a fire pit, a storage building, and a cellar (I do live in Oklahoma). Beautiful green grass and my two cats that are buried in the yard to have a beautiful spot. I want to decorate them for them, so they know I still think about them on the daily. Especially Babykins – I miss her so much.

I’m sure there would be more to my dream house, but this is what I can think of at this moment.