First Ramblings.

Dear Readers,

Today was a good day.

I woke up at 6:30 this morning, which still upsets me knowing that I no longer can just sleep in. I blame working first shift at work. I went to the gym – which isn’t too surprising for a lot of people in the world – a lot do that. Me? I’m lazy, I don’t do that. This morning, I went. This will be the third Wednesday that I attended the gym, third week – I’ll be going back Friday – it’ll be leg day. *gross

I go to water aerobics. && of course, for my age, it seems strange. It’s a great exercise program for older women && sometimes men, not as many, but there are men. I like to exercise with older people – they don’t judge you for dumb reasons. It’s half the reason overweight people tend to stay away from the gym. Not because they truly don’t want to go, but because when they go the jokes and ridicule doesn’t end – it’s exhausting. So, they just don’t go. They attempt to exercise at home, you can use anything, remember? Water bottles, cans of vegetables, milk jugs, a couch. I don’t know if you have ever tried to exercise at home using a can of carrots, but it’s a little… what’s a nice word?

Sometimes, overweight people will attempt to go for a walk. Back road, parks, stores, malls. But then you face children. But you think, it’s just children. You want to know who is harder on people than gym nuts? Mhmm… children. I used to walk around town before I moved here. I guess we won’t say it was children, it was teenagers, because teenagers are cruel. They are cruel to each other, adults, animals. Not all teenagers, of course, I know a few that are fantastic. But maybe I’m projecting.

We spent 45 minutes in the water – upper body today. I really enjoyed it. But then again, if I could, I would turn into a mermaid and just live in the water – especially in the summer months. But alas, I’m human, && can’t just magically turn into a mermaid – this isn’t Disney Channel. So, I have to choose water aerobics. After which, since I drove myself, I spent 35 minutes on a bike elliptical – rode “four miles”. I say, “four miles”, because I honestly don’t know if that was four miles. But the machine said so.

It’s now a little before ten o’clock and I am just tired. After I got home, I wanted to play Fallout 4 on the Xbox, that was my plan. Have a snack, play a game. I don’t remember when, or for how long, but I’m pretty sure I was asleep in my chair. I ended up going to Wal-Mart just to get some oomph back into me. It didn’t work. I’m still just tired. The last few times of water aerobics I didn’t feel tired. But you know how you feel after being out in the sun all day in the pool then you come inside for that cold white bread bologna sammich with Doritos? THAT FEELING. I have had it all day. But… the pool at the gym… is inside && warm.

Maybe it was the elliptical bike?

I planned to just lay down and go to sleep. But I promised myself && a little to you guys, that I would write. More. Get back to that. So, I figured I would write before I go to sleep. I’m already halfway to the sleep cycle – I’m sitting in bed as I type this. Husband is beside me watching his phone ‘Return to Silent Hill’, apparently. I always tell him he can use the television and not watch his phone, but nope – phone it is. Me? I’m listening to the television, ‘Supermarket Sweep’. Did you ever watch ‘Supermarket Sweep’? I remember watching it when I was younger. I found it on my Roku television and I’m pretty sure I have watched the reruns with reruns surrounded by reruns.

They brought it back out a couple years ago. I read about David Ruprecht one night while watching this – Google is great! I read that he auditioned for the reboot that Leslie Jones got. I enjoyed Leslie Jones’ version – she’s great. It lasted one season; it doesn’t seem that they have any intentions of making it anymore. So, I started to wonder – if they had given it to David Ruprecht, would it still be running? David’s run was long and great!

I also read, to which I didn’t know, that David Ruprecht was in ‘True Blood’. I had to Google more into that, because what? To me he is just the host of a great game show. I didn’t realize that he was also an actor-actor. He was, by the way, in ‘True Blood’. He played a Reverend.

I suppose it’s bedtime. If only I had a canopy bed. >insert weird facial features< I never had a canopy bed. I had a day bed – but I’m about twenty percent sure the Husband would not appreciate a day bed.

It would be hilarious, tho.

Until next time… <3

Dear Diary – Every Day’s A Struggle,

I feel like I’m going backwards.  The week of pay day is always a little harder than every other day.  Know what I mean?

I get paid Friday (every two weeks) so I can restock my goodies.  But Christmas is coming up and I am going to eventually start feeling bad about buying stuff for myself.  This is my yearly dilemma.  Sometimes I wonder if this is half the reason I cannot keep up with weight loss.  Do it for so long, thinking about no one but myself, and then I realize that I’m thinking about no one but myself.

I start feeling bad.

I have been eating left overs for the last couple of days.  I know it’s silly to really think about it, but I typically leave all of my calories for the evening.  Which is said to not do so, but I do.

Everyone does something they shouldn’t do.  That’s mine.  (Breakfast has never been my friend.  But that’s for another day.)  But I feel as if I have been eating way too many calories.  I still walk, every day, for at least thirty minutes (which is approximately a mile for me, I’m slow), so I’m still doing my thing.  But how well is it if you eat 5,000 calories a day and only burn 200?  (I don’t eat 5,000 calories a day, maybe 2,000 to the most) – but either way it’s still not good.

I’m rambling.

What I’m saying – is that I have had a rough few days.  Maybe it isn’t rough.  Maybe it’s not as many calories as I think.  Maybe – just maybe – I haven’t put back on my 13 pounds.

That would be nice.

 

Dear Diary : #1

I don’t know what happened to me.  I used to be the epitome of writing.  Wrote constantly.  Anything && everything I could.  But now – not so much.  I know I complain about writing a lot, but I promise this isn’t going to be thirty-three paragraphs about how I just can’t seem to write anymore.

Nope.  Not in the least.

Today’s Complaint = I am in a reading rut!

(This also won’t be a thirty-two paragraph rant, either.)

I have tried a few different styles && a part of me thinks that is what may actually have put me in the rut.  Sadly, I LOVE romance novels.  Always have.  The idea that someone could have the perfect relationship – the kind they want, anyway – makes me happy.  Even if it’s between two fake people with fake families and fake friends.  The thoughts came from a real person.  So it counts somewhere.

Me?  I love reading romance, any kinds.  I love writing romance – all kinds.  (No “smut”, though, I can’t seem to get through that without laughing at myself.)  So no worries about getting the next 50 Shades of Grey.

Romance is my thing – has been since I could remember.  I love every aspect of a good romance novel.  But I like taking a romance novel and putting a horrible twist to it, so when the love reunites it’s even stronger than it ever was.

So I started my novel.  I figured I could do whatever I wanted and put the characters through what I choose fitting.  So November of 2012 I began my novel (“Frost”).  Oh, boy, was I excited.  The excitement is still there it’s just a tad burned out.  Not because I don’t want to finish it, I do!  Oh trust me, I want to finish it.  But I guess my goals just didn’t add up and now I’m a little on the sad part.

What goals?

I decided, when I began writing again (around nineteen), that I wanted to be published by 30.  That seems like a good amount of years to write a novel, send out manuscripts, and get someone to fall in love with my story.

The problem?

I’m a little under two months away from joining the 30’s Club &&& I still haven’t finished the novel.  Yeah, no reason to reread that line – you read it correctly.  I have been working on the novel for five years and I am still not finished.

Well, I have technically finished.  I have been working on the corrections since 2015 when I finished the rough draft.   But nope… still haven’t finished.  So I made myself a new goal, that I am trying my hardest to keep – but I have moments where I can’t seem to keep my attention long enough to correct it.

I want to finish it completely by my 30th birthday.  However, I honestly don’t see it happening, not because I don’t want to, but because it’s less than two months away and I’m still correcting chapter 11 out of… 24?

Am I up to twenty-three paragraphs yet?

I have faith, though, lots &&& lots of faith that I will finish the novel.  When?  I’m not 100% sure, but I know I will.  Getting it published may be a different story.  (Most companies, now, don’t take unsolicited manuscripts anymore.)

Anyhoo…

I’ll stop complaining now and go back to watching “Vampire Dairies” &&& playing Fallout Shelter on the PC.  Yes, I do realize I should be editing (which is why most people know me as a procrastinator) but I’m not.

Go figure.