Dreams: Do they come true?

What do you think it will take to make your dreams come true?

I have always been curious if the “American Dream” is true? && is it only for people who weren’t born over here? I know that sounds horrible to even say, but sometimes I feel if you were born in America we don’t have the “American Dream” because we’re already American. But I guess that’s for a different day.

What do I think I need to make my dreams come true? Depends on which dream we are talking about. I don’t know if it’s normal for one person to have a couple dreams. But we’ll break each one down.

Writing/Publish a Book: We all knew this was going to be number one. It’s the dream I have had since I was in fifth grade when I started writing to begin with. I know what it’ll take, I don’t have to give it much thought. I have to get out of my head. Being stuck inside of your own head is a dangerous place to be. && that’s what holds me back a lot. I worry too much about what people will think of my writing instead of realizing that I’m a better writer than what I see in my head.

I need to stop being so scared of people reading what I write. Yes, I know I write in this. But this writing seems different in my head than writing a story. && technically it is. This is me just typing out thoughts and putting them on a screen. A story has to have plots, and ideas, and follow through, and understanding, and great characters. That’s what scares me. You know, to this day, only one person has fully read Frost from start to finish.
Making money from this blog: I know it’s possible for people to make a side hustle using their blog. There are things called “Mommy Blogs”, “Food Blogs”, “Book Blogs”. But they have the one thing I don’t. A theme. A reason to write a blog. I have been writing a blog on and off since I was seventeen. SEVEN. TEEN. That’s been nearly 20 years of me writing a blog && I have a following on here of less than 300. I’m about 75% sure it’s because I have no theme.

I have thought about turning it into a book blog. Writing about books I read and what I thought of them && if I recommend them. I shot that thought away when I realized that I don’t read enough to do that. I read a lot – usually – if I’m not in a slump, however, I get in slumps a lot.

I gave travel food blogger a thought for about three minutes. Then I realized I don’t travel – so I thought, what about just food? I know food blogs are interesting if written by the correct person, but I’m pretty sure no one wants to read about what I cook for dinner every night. Plus, I’m not sure if I’d have enough content for it. Also, uploading pictures on here is a headache.

I’m not a mommy so mommy blog is out the window. I am an Aunt, but no one writes an Aunt Blog. That’s silly.

So it’s left me blank. Which is what has brought me to where I’m at today. Just a blog about whatever I can think of writing about. Maybe I’ll write about a book that I enjoyed reading or maybe I come across a recipe that really stuck out or possible I liked a kitchen gadget really well && I want to talk about that. Maybe a drink I can’t live without, or a new product I found that made me smile. Do I think this idea will ever bring me to making money off of it? No, I don’t. Because if I haven’t in that last 20 years, I doubt it’ll start now. So the blog itself, I guess, is more for me. But trust me, if you like it, please follow & share && enjoy.
Cooking/Food Truck: I haven’t had this dream as long as the writing side of me. I didn’t start cooking until I was 15 && that was out of necessity. Fifteen is when I lost my mother which left me, my dad && brother. I didn’t want to live on bologna sandwiches for the rest of my life, so I began to learn to cook. However, I didn’t begin to enjoy cooking until I was nineteen. That’s when I started reading cookbooks, and watching cooking shows, and coming up with my own recipes.

So the food truck / traveling blogger dream didn’t appear until it was way to late to really do much with cooking. There are so many programs out there for younger people who enjoy cooking – however, once you hit eighteen, just like any other profession, you are screwed.

But to get that dream – I need money. I could be the best cook in the state of Oklahoma, but without money, or a backer, you don’t have anyway of starting up a food business. I think I could make money off this blog before I could get a food truck. To be a traveling food blogger you need money. I’m not going to be one of those people who travel somewhere then tell the people “you let me have this for free because I’m a blogger && it’ll bring you more business.” && yes, people do that. && if you do that, && you’re reading this – STOP IT. Pay the businesses like the rest of the people && if you like it then tell your followers that you liked it && they can go enjoy it themselves by paying the businesses. && go for small businesses. They need it a lot more than some huge butt chain of butt people. No one likes butt people.

So, here I sit. Daily. Writing in this blog. Hoping inspiration hits && I don’t have to only write these daily prompts out of this book. Remember, if you like this topic, write it in yours but attach my blog to it. && if you’re curious about the book, “A 5 Year Question A Day? Memory Journal” – I bought it at Wal-Mart. (&& no, if you click the link I will get nothing from it.) But that’s the book I keep getting the prompts out of. If you buy it && start using them – somehow credit me. Bring me the views. ❤️

Day Six.

What do you need to make more time for?

I feel like this question is asked a lot to people && they usually say the same thing: “I need to make more time for myself.” && in some sense, that’s what I need to do. But it’s more about doing things I like versus making more time for myself.

I feel like the ones who say “I need more time for myself” is talking about making new routines, or just sitting around for themselves. I want to find a peace I haven’t felt in a long time when it comes to things I enjoy doing. Things that make me happy. I don’t want to find a way to make myself happy, I know what makes me happy already. I just need to go back to it.

Reading makes me happy. Every now && again I’ll get in reading slumps which at times can be really hard to get out of. I’m in one right now. I carry around two books all the time: “The Witcher: The Last Wish” by Andrzej Sapkowski && “Wreck The Halls” by Tessa Bailey. I go to pick one of them up && I can’t just read it. I do this. I want to get back to where I was when I didn’t get in slumps. That I could pick up any book && either read it or not.

Writing makes me happy. Since I technically finished “Frost” completely I haven’t written a single thing. I can’t even write a paragraph that makes sense. I have so many thoughts of things to write about, but when I sit down to write all I draw is complete blanks. Some of the ideas would make great novels. But they just sit in my brain. Doing nothing but taking up space. These blogs I’ve written the last few weeks is the most I’ve written. Maybe I’m in a writing slump too. Maybe I’m in a word slump.

Cooking makes me happy. I’m not sure why but lately I haven’t been wanting to cook. Boyfriend bought me a 12 piece Hexclad set for Christmas this year. I have used it a couple times since he bought it. I know it’s only January 6th, so it’s not like I have had it for a year, but most people who loves to cook would already be putting some mileage in it. Me? Food just hasn’t been my friend lately. Nothing sounds good – all I have wanted is soup. (Which isn’t a big deal, I get in this mood every now && again.)

I think right now I just don’t feel good. But I do know I need to find time to do the things that make me happy. Find a joy in them again. Find something that may feel like it’s missing. Maybe writing every day in this will help with my word slump I have going. Maybe it’ll help me find the passion and drive I normally have when it comes to reading, writing && cooking.

Worlds.

Trying to break into worlds is hard.

No, this isn’t about me trying to find a way into another galaxy or proving that there is life in space. What I’m stating, is facts, that when you try to break into worlds it’s hard.

The writing community is huge. A lot of book worms, writers, authors, agents, editors, etc. && trying to get welcomed into it is like trying to sit at the popular table in high school. Sadly, I was never invited.

I have never been good at popularity contests && I wasn’t part of the “in crowd” && thinking that the writing community makes me feel like that is a harsh reality. I honestly know it’s not a popularity contest… but I feel like that. I also feel if you don’t have the money to spend you’ll never be published.

I figured the best way for an unknown is to publish it myself. Which is totally fine – I don’t mind doing the hard work. But I really wanted a professional editor to read through it, find the errors but unless I can poop out nearly $3,000 that will never happen. &&& I know they are worth the money, I just don’t have it to spend.

Then I think ‘okay, let’s skip the professional editing.’ Knowing that it’s self published, “most” readers will look over a lot of them. I will just edit the crap out of it.

Next hurdle. To self-publish, you need extra money. Thousands. I found a company that helps self publish but as I began reading I realized that not only do they request thousands of dollars they also keep 80¢ on every dollar for themselves so I would only get 20¢ of every dollar sold. Whereas, if I do it all myself and use Amazon, I get 70% of the royalties.

But then I think about going with my other passion but breaking into the food world is just as hard – if not harder. I guess when they say “you need money to make money” they weren’t kidding. But sadly, here I am with no money.

I did upload a couple chapters of the book. I figured if it gets enough notice that either that company will want to publish it or it shows that if I was to save the money, step-by-step it, that people would be interested in purchasing the book.

Frost the Novel.

Frost

I have decided to step out of my comfort zone. To do so I have uploaded the first few chapters (through chapter three), so I can get feedback on it. If you happen to read it, and you like it, please hit the heart button.

I also understand that not everyone likes every book written, so it won’t hurt all of my feelings if someone doesn’t like it. But at the same time, I hope people like it.

Through that website, if it’s like && enough buzz, they would consider publishing it.

Walking Around the Clock.

I bought a treadmill.

&& shockingly, a part of my body didn’t try to die. (Remember jump rope?) I had it a few days before I actually used it. && I could sit here and give you a million reasons why I didn’t – but truth is… lazy.

The treadmill was on sale. && when I say it was on sale, I’m talking dropped nearly 400$. I have been wanting to buy one because I know I’ll use it. But there are still days where I’ll go outside for a walk. But with this, I have no excuse.

The last seven days I have walked a total of 2:22:20 hours, 3.83 miles && estimated calorie burn of 755. I have given myself small goals on it each day. First. I want to hit one mile. Two. I want to hit 45 minutes or more of walking. Three. I want to burn at least 200 calories. (I know the calorie count is an approximate.) I usually hit one mile first. Takes me approximately 30ish minutes. Then I hit the 200 calories. At that point, I’m just waiting to hit the 45 minute mark.

I know doctors say at least 30 minutes a day, but I figure an extra 15 isn’t going to kill me. Unless I trip – like I almost did today. So my machine has the ability to program exercises for you. I thought today I would do this tour in Louisiana that is on there through a building. Sounded exciting. It was up until it decided it need to speed up, didn’t give me any warning, and I nearly tripped and fell.

Falling on a treadmill is not on my to-do list.

Going with the 200 or more calories per workout, for five days a week, that’s 1000 calories. By gum, if I can’t lose the weight doing 1,000 calories a week – then I need to admit and accept that I’m meant to be overweight and just move on.

But even as optimistic as I am, a part of me worries that I’ve done too much damage && that I can’t reverse anything. I get, && understand that diabetes isn’t curable. It’s manageable. It’s also reversible. A part of me is scared to death that I can’t reverse it && that I have do deal with this the rest of my life. That’s even if I pull the weight off && get myself back on track.

I guess the good part of all of this? I’m out of my walking rut. Now I just have to keep going && not give myself a dumb excuse why I can’t walk one day. The only day I don’t plan on walking is Saturday’s && I’m not using an excuse. It’s the truth. I work from 5A-5:30P – by the time I get home I have enough time to make something for dinner, get to bed, just to wake up and be at work at 5A again. I’m not even going to try to exercise on Saturday’s unless I find that I am off on Sunday’s && as short handed as we are on that day – I don’t see it anytime soon.

My goal is five days. Monday through Friday. If I can hit that goal, I won’t beat myself up if I don’t walk Saturday && Sunday.

I feel as if I’m rambling. So I’m going to stop now.

Frost.

Mara Montgomery spends her days cooking and cleaning for her stepmother and two stepsisters. But after an accident one night, Mara finds her life changing forever. When she arrives back home and see’s that everything has changed, her anger turns into revenge, before taking off deciding her life isn’t what she always thought it would be. Mara is only partially accepting with the reality she was facing when she is approached by the charming, rude, and egotistical Kristopher Plague.

Kristopher Plague comes across to the public as the ordinary rich boy, not wanting for anything, living in the largest house on the West side of town. He uses his notorious good looks and money to gratify his every need, but is secretly obsessed with Mara, the only girl he cannot have. Once she appears in his yard in the middle of the night, almost as a knight in shining armor, he will do anything and everything in his power to make her his. Until a guy, NiKlaus Cuttingham, appears out of the shadows and threatens to take everything that is his.

NiKlaus Cuttingham is Chief of Police and all-around terrific guy, and brother of Mara Montgomery’s best friend, Megan. He finds himself hunting down the ‘bad guys’ and rescuing damsels in distress. Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine the girl-next-door would need some saving and he would find himself tangled in the middle of lies, deceit, and murder.

*********************************

I’m slowly finishing up the novel. I’m to the point where I have let someone have the first four chapters to read. I’m still scared to death – which of course, everything that the person says I overthink it && make it worse in my head.

The question is – from the blurb – would you read it?

I have had the blurb for the back of the book written for years, I’m not sure if I have ever shared it before, but here it is. I’m wanting to find one more person to edit it, start to finish, after I finish reading through it, but I’m not sure who to use. I know I can’t use an official editor, because I don’t have the money for it && I refuse to ask someone who does it for a living to do it for free. Because – that’s like asking me to go to work for a week && not get paid for it. I wouldn’t do it I don’t expect them to do it.

Anyhoo… I am up to chapter 19 of 29-ish. It’s either 28 or 29 chapters. Then I have to upload my changes once again && then hopefully find someone who…

I’m worried about giving it to someone who has been in my life for a long time because I fear they will tell me what they think I want to hear because they are afraid of hurting my feelings. It’s one of those, I’d rather them hurt my feelings because if they tell me it’s good, I go to get it published (whether I do it myself or through a company) the criticism will be worse than a friend/family telling me they didn’t like it.

Ya know?

I have my goal to finish is by Summer of 2022. Getting it published is a different story.

Here We Go!

November 2012 – First got the idea of Frost
November 2012 – Began writing.-The first few months was probably the easiest. The words just came to me. Flew out without having to think about it. Came across Chapter Three && the words just stopped. For some weird reason, every odd chapter was hard to write.
January 25, 2015 – I finished writing the full story.
January 26, 2015 – Began editing the story.
January 27, 2015 – Began the LONG fight with the story that lasted seven years.
January 25, 2022 – Finished – completely – the first round of edits. Yes, you read that correctly, I have finished editing the book. Do I think it’s great? No, I still think it needs a lot of work. But this is right direction.

My next plan is to print it out, start to finish, && read it. Make sure it flows, make notes throughout it. Make sure I didn’t take something out that I referenced before. It began with one idea && became something completely different as I finished writing it. But I think most writers say that about their stories.

I have given myself a goal. The goal of finishing this completely before the end of this year. Although, I think I say this every year, I mean it a little more now. The last year has been weird, hard, and stupid – && I know that I may not have forever and if I keep putting it off, my forever is going to be something I don’t enjoy as much as I should. I preach to people all the time to do the stuff in life that makes them happy. So why am I not listening to myself when it comes to my own happiness? I don’t want to be doing what I’m doing for the rest of my life. I want to write. I want that to be my living. &&& I will NEVER know for sure if I have what it takes if I never finish the book.

So here I am. My life is fine – but it would be so much better if I could put as my job title “Author”. Be able to say that my life is writing. Writing is my life.

But then again, I have decided to do a lot of things that scare me. That I’m afraid to do. && no, it’s not one of those “I’m going to die so I’m going to do everything on my bucket list.” I am not planning my death. I’m not ready to die. I’m just going to do && try to do the things that I have wanted to but afraid to try. Maybe I’ll go bungee jumping? Go down a water slide? Learn to swim?

I’ve been struggling lately with my sugar numbers. They’ve been high – not last year high, but high. 300’s. All the time. Morning. Afternoon. Night. My phone was been waking me up beeping because it hits 300 between 2AM & 7AM. Then it’ll go down to about 250 && stay there all day. I have been waiting to go see my endocrinologist about it && see what she says, however, when my appointment came up I found out they dropped my insurance – yay. So I was unable to do that. Instead I made an appointment with my primary && had the conversation. After discussing medicine & such she mentioned that it’s probably because I have been taking one of my shots. Why? Because I ran out of it – then tried to get it refilled. The endocrinologist I was seeing doesn’t, for any reason, answer their phone. So I was unable to get it refilled. So my primary refilled it – three months worth – &&& I began taking it again. I’m back on it for two weeks. The last two days I haven’t hit 300. It has been ranging between 150 – 200. Still high, but it’s a lot better than it was.

Weight loss. That’s my goal. I don’t know if I will be able to do it myself. Back of my mind has been weight loss surgery. I feel like that’s me giving up. But at the same time, I also think, it might benefit me. I will have a higher chance of not being diabetic, have high blood pressure && I may, just may get my heart function back.

My check up this month with my primary – she said I had a little fluid build up again. Nothing scary. She didn’t hospitalize me. She said my numbers are better. I take a water pill – I’m allotted two of them a day – I have only been taking one. This last few days I have been taking two. I can’t have the build up – a heart attack is not in my plans.

Up & Down.

I gained 8 pounds.

I get that it’s holiday season && everyone usually gains weight. But I didn’t really have the room to gain the weight. I also get that it’s not a lot of weight && weight goes up & down. But I’m sticking with the I don’t have the room to gain weight.

Last night before dinner my blood sugar was 515.

I cried.

I cried for three reasons:

Because my blood sugar was 515.
Because I was scared.
Because I really wanted what I had made. (Nachos)

I told Boyfriend I needed to get back to walking && exercising. MOving around & such. Last couple of months we have been eating horribly, stopped walking, etc. Today I we went grocery shopping && then afterwards, before I didn’t have the stamina anymore, we went for a walk. Almost 2 miles worth. Took approximately 50 minutes. But I did tell him while walking that this time last year I couldn’t walk two circles at the park without having to stop && sit down for a few minutes before finishing. Today I went six circles (the park is small) without having to sit down. Did I start hurting? Yes, of course, but I’ll take pain over having to stop before I walked for 30+ minutes.

The 8 pounds isn’t a horrible thing. It’s just ruining my small goals I have made for myself. I can’t hit them if I’m going in the wrong direction. A few changing && it’ll be better but first I have to start shopping better. Tonight I’m making stuffed mushrooms, mixed veggies. I won’t talk about the meat I chose – normally I eat chicken. Tonight I’m choosing not to. But as I told Boyfriend while walking – I have to walk out some calories so I can eat my meat.

The rut I have been in for a while is slowing ending. Whether it’s the exercising rut or the writing rut. I have been able to edit some more on my story. The last two weeks I have finished four chapters, which usually takes me four months.

So my two goals for the next couple of months:

Finish Editing Frost so I can finally find someone that can edit it again for me && tell me if it’s crap or not.
Finishing losing weight && attempt to not be so much of a horrible diabetic that maybe when I eat Chinese food it won’t go into the 300’s. (The 515 last night was because of what I chose to eat for lunch, I knew it was bad, but I did it. Now I know not to do it again.)
OH! & attempt to write more in this. I always say, every year, that I’m going to write more but I never do. I purchased a book off of Amazon the other day, “One Line a Day for Five Years” – maybe that’ll help. I have thought about finding one of those sites people use && put a couple of the chapters up of my story, but then I’m scared. So there’s that.

So with that, I’m going to wander back over to my chair && probably play a card game on my phone while I wait to make dinner. My stomach is growling.

Concentration is hard.

I want to write.

Writing is all I think about. I think about writing more than I think about food && when you’re a foodaholic, that’s a lot. But when I sit down to write nothing seems to come out. Nothing seems to make sense && nothing seems to work our properly.

I cannot seem to concentrate when it comes to writing, or editing. My mind start wandering && I begin thinking about something else. Lately, I’ve been thinking about playing Fallout 4 – again. (Side note: I’ve already beat it once, but I have been working on beating it again where I side with a different side of the game. Last time I sided with the Institute && had to murder the Brotherhood. Now, I want to side with the Brotherhood.) Or I start thinking that maybe I just need to read more. Maybe that’s what is clogging up my brain, but at the same time, I can’t concentrate to read either.

I recently bought every book written by Harry Dolan (I really enjoyed his first book). I have them all sitting beside my bed just waiting. I began reading his second book but I cannot seem to concentrate long enough to read through it. When I start reading I begin thinking, maybe I should be writing && not reading. Then I pull out my book && start editing just in time for my brain to start thinking about Fallout 4.

It’s just a big old circle I would love to get out of.

Oh! Let’s not forget. When I’m sitting around doing nothing, writing, reading, or playing video games, my brain is screaming at me that I probably should be exercising. Speaking of, I told Boyfriend on Monday that I wanted to go for a walk. My right foot has been hurting ever since. But what makes it weird, I never went for my walk because just talking about it my foot started hurting && now I can barely walk on it without it hurting. Can someone tell my body to stop so I don’t die at 45?

So here I sit in front of the computer typing words into a white square so I can say I at least write something. I woke up the other day after having a very vivid dream. I went straight to the computer, sat down && pulled up a blog to write. I had decided that I would write something new, once a week, that would be a story that could be read like a television series. Something new every week. It’s still saved in my drafts. I never wrote it – which is the story of my life.

I have some great ideas when it comes to writing && then I just…. can’t. Maybe it’s I don’t. I have figured out that I sabotage myself. Maybe I do that with writing too? All I know for sure, 100% – if I don’t finish something I will never be published. Whether it’s self-published or published through a company, it’ll never happen if I don’t do something now. I feel like I’m running out of time.

Although, that’s not true. Some of the writers I read don’t get published until they are in their 40’s or older. There’s never a stopping point. You’re never too old to do something different. I read a story once about a romance writer (mommy porn) that didn’t write her first book until she was in her 80’s. But then I hear stories about writers who write && publish their first book at 14. I think it just depends on the person && how much time they dedicate to writing.

November will be 9 years of writing/editing this book. I have been writing this book way too long.

I didn’t start one back when I was 19. Then my computer crashed && I lost everything. EVERY. THING. I swore then I’d never write another. But in 2012 (25 years old) I was overcome with the inspiration && just started writing. Like I can remember the whole time line. 2015, January, I finished the rough draft. I can remember because I was at work && I wanted to scream. But I calmly told my supervisor && co-workers which they told me to scream. So I squealed. Three years of writing, finally done. Now, I had to edit. It’s not 2021 && I am still editing that stupid book.

I know I talk about this a lot. As much as I talk about it you’d like I would just finish it. How hard is that for me to understand && grasp?

JUST. FINISH. THE. BOOK.

Something Simple.

I am writing/editing.

It’s been a while since I spoke about my writing journey. Lately, it’s been about my health and that journey. But last week, while I was off from work for a few days, I found myself finally pulling it back out && working on Frost. Did I finish it? Of course not. But I did finally get chapter ten finished, and retyped on my USB. Then I followed that up with chapters 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 && 16. I am now working on chapter 17, which is… a lot longer than I thought it was. However, most of it will be taken out.

When I began writing Frost, I was going for numbers versus content. Well, I recently read a self-published book and it was HARD to get through. In fact, I never finished it. I bought it, so I did help the author, I just didn’t enjoy it. After reading that one I realized that going for numbers versus content isn’t going to work. So I have a lot of “junk” in my writing that I need to take out. Which is where I’m at right now. Trying to get the “junk” out but keeping what I need for the book to make sense.

I know I’m going to be my hardest critic, like, there isn’t another person on this planet who is going to hate my writing as much as I hate it. So me trying to edit what I wrote is hard. I’m hard myself because of my word phrasing or my tenses, or spelling errors. I am hard on myself because I think it’s crap && no one is going to want to read it. Or the ones who want to read it hates it because it’s crap.

That’s what I feel when I look at it. That it’s pure crap. Nothing but && needs to be flushed with the rest of the crap. But I’m trying. I am, I’m honestly trying to finish it without throwing it in the trash. Although, if I did throw it away maybe it’ll be like Stephen Kings book, Carrie, that his wife dug out. I mean, he did throw that away. Hah! who am I kidding? I will NEVER have a career in writing like Stephen King. I will be lucky if this book even gets published. Hopefully, if it does, I’m not dead && someone in my family is going through my stuff and find the book && read it and then publish it. Dude! It would suck for the book to be popular, when I’m dead.

But that’s how it usually is, right? Most great writers aren’t found until they are dead. Eh, but with social media, I don’t think that would be the issue. The issue is that I haven’t completely finished the book and I began it in November 2012. But I’m sure I’ve stated that before && I’ve also stated that I finished the rough draft in January of 2015. So, since then, I’ve been trying to edit it, which I have rewritten the first five chapters approximately 500 times. Like, if I were to rewrite those chapters anymore, I’m pretty sure I’d have to rewrite the whole book. Every time I go to edit another chapter my mind starts reeling && I ended up wanting to change something else. But alas, I keep having to tell myself that I cannot keep rewriting the book.

Telling myself something is a lot easier than actually doing it. I want to find someone that will edit it for me. A professional editor, if you will. But at the same time I don’t want to ask one because it’s their job so they’ll want money && I don’t have any to give them. So then I thought maybe I could get a friend of two to read it && see if it’s even worth finishing. But I still have the option of complete strangers. Strangers will tell you the truth. Friends && family, not usually. Because in their heart of hearts they don’t want to hurt my feelings. So they’d read as much as they could, then tell me it’s great to finish it, but in reality it’s crap and I end up putting it in the back of my closet && never writing again.

That’s my writing rut, by the way. I have been in this position for years. It’s not something that just popped up all of a sudden. When I read articles about how to get out of the rut it always says to read more. Read often – read all of the time. Reading is supposed to help a writer get out of the funk. But, up until just recently, I haven’t been able to read a full book. I’ll begin a book, get bored, and never pick it back up. Even from my favorite author. I have read all of his books except one – because of the reading rut. I don’t want to start the book, then get bored, && never pick it back up. So I just never did. However, I was scanning through Amazon the other week and found a set of books. I bought the first one to check it out and ended up reading the whole book in one day. Went back && bought the other two. They aren’t long books, but the way I have been lately, a novella is a great way to start back up. Which, is I think, half of the reason I have been able to edit my book. Do I know that for sure? No – I could have actually just been really bored last week and thought hey, my book is there.

But I will say if you get the chance to read the three book series I’m a Therapist && My Patient is… by Dr. Harper, read them. Apparently they began on /reddit and after a lot of asking for them in a book, he finally wrote them. I have enjoyed them, but some people say they are stupid. So I guess it just depends on your taste in books. My taste ranges it just depends on how it’s written.

I’m honestly hoping to have my book completely edited by the end of the year, but I realize we are only a few days away from August so the year is almost over – it might not happen this year. But I don’t plan on not being able to finish it, so I will eventually. Maybe one day I’ll look up an Author and it’ll say that it took them ten years to write their first book. Doubt it. But maybe…

I’m keeping faith, though, that if I ever actually finish this one, get it published, that if I choose to write another one that it won’t be this hard or take THIS long. Wow. The ten year thing was a joke until I just counted the years. Dude! November of 2022…. will be ten years. That’s crazy!

I guess if it does take me until next November I can call it the Ten Year Book. It’d go along with calling Boyfriend the Seven Year Dude (Syd).