Tag: thoughts

Gym Selfies.

Is this perfection? Absolutely not.

This was Friday – June 31st. I had just finished 45 minutes of water aerobics and I was getting ready for the treadmill – which I ended up walking for 70 minutes – a little over 1 mile.

On that day I was down 155 pounds since surgery. Now I’m trying to fit in exercising.

Downside? I feel like I look old..er than 38. But that happens when you weigh nearly 400 on a 5’2” frame most of your life. Okay. I guess I didn’t weigh that much a long time. But overweight? Yes.

&& before you ask, no, I wasn’t in the best of spirits. I woke up late. Almost didn’t go to the gym. Battling heart burn for a week. Didn’t feel good. But you know what I did? I got up && went anyway. The water aerobics trainer did ask me a few times if I was okay. He said I looked sad.

I was tired.

Gods Library

Walking through Wal-Mart parking lot. I see a bumper sticker that said, “Don’t worry about tomorrow, God’s already there”.

Which got me to thinking.

I tell people a lot that He already has a book written of your life – so He knows what’s happening tomorrow. Then started thinking about what His library would look like. 📖

Photo Credit goes to Nemanja Sekulic.

He said he used photoshop to do this with a picture of his dad in the middle.

As I Get Older.

I lost my grandmother when I was in the 7th grade. So, the little things she done I found a little weird. For example, as long as I can remember she called me “Robert”. I don’t know why. By the time I started to get curious, she had already passed away. I never got to ask.

But as I get older I realize a lot of what I thought was weird, prolly isn’t as weird as I thought.

  1. During the summer, she took cold showers. I found that that strange – even in the summer. Why would someone do that? Lately, I have been taking showers and not turning on the hot. Mind you, I live in Southern Oklahoma, so our “cold water” isn’t cold. It’s… luke-cold. You know when you turn your water hose on for the first time in the summer. The first bit of water that comes out – that’s what the water feels like.
  2. My grandmother would run around her house with a pair of shorts && a bra – that’s it. I laugh about it now but as a kid – that’s weird. But I understand it now. My grandmother lived in a two bedroom trailer house from 1991 until her death in 2001. Her trailer had no AC except for window units. I understand the pain and exhaustion that comes from sitting in your house burning up because you don’t have an AC. I have one – in my bedroom (which is where I am lying while I type this on my phone) – so it is the only cool room. We tried to purchase window units for our living area in hopes that it would cool off in there – but there is too much open space, so it never actually helped. I would need an industrial sized AC && I just cannot afford that.

I’m tired of the summer now. I know there are a few who are enjoying the heat && they want it forever. But today, when I got off work, it was 102°F (38.8°C). It was 3:30 PM when I got home. I tried sleeping last night && it was hard since it was 90°F && even with my AC in my small bedroom – it was hot.

I’m ready for cold weather. Or at least the cooler weather we get during fall && winter. Usually late October it starts getting into degrees that I enjoy. Boyfriend keeps saying September should be better. But lately it’s hot then too.

You want to know what time it gets cool in my room? Between 2:00 am && 4:00 am. Want to know what time I was up for work? 3:00 am.

Just for one day.

What’s a job you would like to do for just one day?

This is silly. But I would like to work in a Chinese restaurant for just one day.

My reasoning? I really, really, really want to know how Chinese restaurants make their egg drop soup.

I have found a few recipes I like. One more than the others. But it still doesn’t taste or feel like theirs. Theirs is creamy, thick && oh so delicious. Mine comes out good, but doesn’t have that creamy factor that the restaurants have.

Or… a bakery.

I try to do a side hustle of making desserts – who doesn’t love or buy desserts. (Besides me). But I can’t make icing and would love to work in a bakery just to learn how to make it properly.

&& Here We Go.

I’m struggling tonight on what to write about. Been sitting in bed thinking – I just cannot seem to think of anything.

I finally finished reading “The New House” by Tessa Stimson. It basically finished the way I figured it would, but I was hoping it wouldn’t. I wanted more for that character. It was a tough read. I got to 35% read before it began getting good. Once I hit the ‘good spot’ I was able to read through the rest. So if you read it, don’t give up. (I had to read six novellas to actually finish it).

Today I started reading “It Ends With Us” by Colleen Hoover. I’m half way through it right now. I should finish it tomorrow if not Saturday then I will start the second one.

I guess since my brain is bad I tonight I’m just going to curl up in bed while I Love Lucy plays in the background to get some sleep. I have work tomorrow.

Break Me Off A Piece.

Do you need a break? From what?

Honestly, sometimes I feel like I just need a break from life. Not death. I don’t want to die. 💀 Just a break. A vacation from life, if you will.

Most like to say a break from work. Work is fine. It’s life. Or they’ll say family. I like my family. But sometimes a small break from life would be grand.

Not a forever break, of course. Just a few hours. Like sleep in the other room break. Go stay at my brother’s house sort of break. Go to the grocery store alone break. Read a long book in a room alone break. Play a video game without kids screaming your name break. (I have no kids, but you get it). Take a long rod trip with no destination break. Go to the movie theater and sit in the back break. Eat a whole box of popcorn break.

Just a break.

To-do List.

Something on your “to-do list” that never gets done.

That’s easy: dishes && laundry.

I know it said one thing but I’m pretty sure my dishes and laundry is in the same pot. I feel like the more I do of each, the more there is to do. Like they multiply. They have sex in the night && by morning they’ve reproduced by the millions.

Our dish washer broke. 😞 So it is going to be even more of a headache to do the dishes. But then again, I haven’t met anyone that loves to do dishes. Do you love to do dishes?

It takes three to four times to dry out laundry. Then when we finally get it dry, takes me another fourteen ages to actually fold and put it up. But I think a lot of people do that. 😂😂 When I lived alone I would do laundry, end up putting it on my bed, && sleeping with it for a good month. 🧺

But what can I say? 🍽️ 🧺

Places to see. People to do.

Name an attraction or town close to home that you still haven’t got around to visiting.

So I live in southern Oklahoma. So southern that I’m about 15 minutes from Texas. A short trip half way across a bridge – BAM! 💥 I am in Texas. In fact, I am closer to Denton, Texas than Oklahoma City and the same distance from here to Dallas and here to Oklahoma City.

My point?

I have never been to Six Flags over Texas. For the ones not from Oklahoma or Texas, that doesn’t seem like a big deal. However, if you’re from around here && I say that, it still shocks people.

Six Flags over Texas is one of those places people here get yearly passes. They go there all the time. Any chance they get.

Then there’s me. I have been to Walt Disney World in Florida – but not Six Flags. Go figure!

But let’s be honest. I haven’t been to a lot of places. Zoos. Aquariums. Museums. I don’t get out much. Even as a kid, I didn’t have friends that asked me to go places like that with them && my parents didn’t have the money to go.

As a kid I spent a lot of time with my mom – usually wherever she worked, you’d probably be able to find me. So going to places like that just didn’t seem like a big deal.

As an adult, I kind of wish I had gone. But who would I have gone with? && now, those places interest me, but I feel like I am too old. If I had children of my own, I could see going – but I don’t. I feel like those places (even thinking about going to Walt Disney World) are built and made for children to enjoy. Single adults can’t go by themselves.

I mean, yeah… I could “borrow” children from family. But isn’t that weird?

First and Foremost.

Write about your first computer.

I was twelve when we got the first family computer. So approximately 1999.

It wasn’t fancy, just an average white computer. 💻 I am pretty sure it was the same computer most families bought. Except for my best friend who had one of those clear backs with color made by McIntosh and sold my Apple – “iMac”. I was so jealous of her computer. I wanted one so bad! Hers was blue.

I do remember being fascinated by it. (Kind of still am fascinated by computers). It’s the reason I took computer classes in middle and high school. I’m pretty sure it’s the reason I took computers in college. && I’m pretty sure I can blame that, and my High School computer teacher, as to why I can type 100 words per minute.

We had dial up. So I always had to ask permission to get online. But at 12, I didn’t find much use online. My mom used it the most to talk to my cousin who lived in Michigan. They used to write handwritten letters to each other, then they got computers. (Well, sometimes they used a typewriter but mostly written by hand. *pretty sure that’s where I get my love of being a pen-pal).

I didn’t really get into computers – staying on them for hours and hours – until I was around 16. That’s when I dropped out of high school. That’s when I became a whole different person. Online I was the version of myself I always wanted to be. In person – most people didn’t know I still existed. *that’s more true than I’d like to admit*

I lived on the computer until I was in my early 20’s. After that I couldn’t figure out what I did online that took so much of my time. So much of my life. Now I will get on the computer for writing purposes (I also work with computers), or maybe to Google something. I am not on it very long – if I get on it.

Today I have a Dell computer that I bought off Amazon. It came with two monitors and a keyboard. The monitors didn’t work and the keyboard was trash. So I bought a monitor from Wal-Mart – it MIGHT be Samsung or an off brand something or another. The keyboard lights up and I bought it on New Egg. 🥚

Take Two.

Tuesday the sixth.

I was called back by the surgeons office this afternoon. Woo! 🧑🏻‍⚕️ They were willing to set my appointment for tomorrow, but I can’t do that – I work tomorrow. So I told them Tuesday’s are best for me and I am free for whenever. So next Tuesday it is…

Normally I would ramble on and on about thoughts, worries, etc. But today will be short because I’m using my cell phone to write this. Why? Don’t laugh! 👀 One of my cats, Odis, was asleep in my computer chair && I didn’t want to wake him up. So I left the room to use my phone. ☎️

But I will say this much. My “fat brain” is freaking out && I know that it’s going to take a lot to calm it down. However, I know I need to do this to survive – I’m just, probably like everyone else on the planet that has done this surgery, scared of how it’s going to change me.

The thought of taking an hour to eat one scrambled egg terrifies me. Although, I’m pretty sure by 30 minutes in, I’m going to get bored of eating. 🍽️

I did have a check up with my doctor today. We didn’t do much so I have nothing new to go by. I did tell him that when I eat I sweat, which is weird – asked if I should be worried. He said no – he is pretty sure it’s because of my Trulicity. I also asked for a prescription of antacids because BOY! Woo! All I get anymore is heartburn. Sucks. I have an appointment next month to check my A1C. Hopefully it has gone down. I know my daily numbers are lower. Send a prayer up for me on that.

I will stop on that note && will pick it back up again later on.