Tag: weight loss

Goals.

Everyone talks about goals for weight loss.  I am not sure if I actually said what they are.  My goals are simple – to fit in some pants that I bought a few months ago that are too tight.  Right now they won’t go past my hips (which is weird to say because I don’t have hips) and I can’t put them on.  I tried my grandmothers trick – unbuttoned them, laid flat on the bed, and tried to button them like that.  I did get them on and buttoned, but it was only because The Boyfriend buttoned them for me.  But I couldn’t breathe so I took them off and put them away.  But I will get in them.

I would like to pull off 47 pounds before July 12, 2017.  Why this date?  I had a doctors appointment last week and I saw that I had pulled off 18 pounds in four months without exercising and without taking nothing away.  I was still eating a large pizza by myself, deep fried foods, etc.  I figure if I start exercising I could double that easily.  So, I figure 47 pounds should be a breeze especially if I start counting my calories.

I want off medication.  Right now I take four things per doctors orders & one because of what that medication does to me.  I take losartan & metoprol for blood pressure.  Then I take janumet & trulicity for diabetes.  Then of course since all four of those medications give me heartburn I added in Prilosec because I cannot handle the after effects of the heartburn.

See!  Realistic goals.

My unrealistic goal.  To be in a bathing suit before summer.  That would take a miracle. :)
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Day One Continued…

I’m going to drown you people with blogs.  I hope you’re ready for this….

At least today.  I’m sure they’ll start dwindling as the days progress.  I’m eventually going to get mad about that bucket of chicken.

Here are my rules for my weight loss.
1. No getting mad at myself if I fall off the wagon.
If one day I decide to eat that bucket of chicken in one sitting with a gallon of extra sweet, sweet tea watching reruns of my 600-Pound life crying like a two year old.  I will not get mad at myself.  I’ll just dust off the chicken crumbs, throw away the tea jug, stop watching that show (it makes me cry every time) and move on to the next day.  Tomorrow is always a new day…

2.  I will NOT keep anything from my diet.
I see a lot of people fail because they decide that they can not eat bread, pasta, rice, sugar (I barely eat this anyway), cakes, pies, etc.  So they pull it from the house and their daily consumption.  Here is what I learned the first time around: if I take something away and tell myself I’m not allowed to eat it.  I’m going to eat it.  And I’m going to eat a lot of it.  So, if I tell myself that I can have it, I’ll still eat it.  But I’m going to eat it reasonably.  So, if I want a piece of birthday cake – I’ll eat it.  Although, I don’t eat much sweets which makes me a weird fat person.  I make it up elsewhere, don’t worry.

3. Exercise is a must.
So what?  I only get in twenty minutes one day.  I won’t hate myself for that either.  I’m going to take that 20 minutes & be proud of myself.  (Went for a walk this morning and realized it only took me 20 minutes – I was aiming for at least 30.  I guess I walked too fast.)  Some doctors and specialists say that 20 minutes a day is perfect.

4. Have a cheat day!
Some say a cheat day detours you.  I don’t agree.  I’m also not a doctor or specialist – just a fat person trying to not fail.  When I pulled off the 50 pounds in three or four months I gave myself a cheat day.  It was payday and I would take myself to the Chinese place a couple towns over.  I eventually stopped going and did it less.  (I get paid bi-weekly.)  But I left that option there because it’s the only thing I find myself craving.

5. Give in to your cravings.
It sounds kind of weird.  But.. if you crave it.  Eat.  It.  If have a craving for something and tell yourself you can’t have it you’re going to be eating any & everything you can to fill that void.  So ladies, if you’re craving chocolate.  Eat it.  Just don’t eat the whole candy bar.  It’s possible, I promise.

6. Be lazy.
I toyed with this one for a while.  I always figured if you want to lose weight you can’t just sit & do nothing.  You always have to be up && doing something.  But when I realized that I am allowed to do nothing & just watch television, I was able to stay on track better.  You look at a lot of the well built people – body builders – gym goers… they always seem to be doing something.  So why can’t I find something to do?  Sometimes you just don’t have anything to do.  (Keep in mind you get exercise by doing household chores.  Laundry.  Dishes.  Sweeping.  Vacuuming.  Playing with your children.)

7.  Take a breather.
Don’t be stupid and over do it.  Your body will tell you how far and how much you’re able to do.  Don’t be stupid and go too far, too long, and kill yourself.  That’s pretty much more dangerous than being overweight.

8.  Eat your pizza.
This seems to be the one thing people hate giving up besides cheese, of course.  Don’t give it up.  Eat it.  Just don’t go crazy.  If you’re like me and cannot get full off of two to three slices… add a salad.  Yum!  Who doesn’t love salad?  Stop looking at me like that.  Eat a salad along with those two to three slices.  Yes, it’s a lot of calories, but so is the food you’re going to eat trying to fill that pizza void.  Just eat it.

9.  Don’t do it alone.
I’m not saying put everyone in your house on a diet.  What I am saying is to cook for everyone the same way.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with cooking better for other people.  Switching out baked fried chicken for oil fried chicken is healthy for everyone.  Having a turkey burger rather than a beef burger.. chicken rather than steak.    I mean, hey!  If you can make them fried chicken && not eat as much of it, all power to you!  I can eat one piece and walk away.  But I’m weird. :)

10. Don’t expect a miracle.
You didn’t put the weight on in one day no matter what you think.  It took years to get to the weight you’re at and you cannot expect to pull it off in one day or one week.  Or even one month.  Give yourself realistic goals and set them for yourself.  Realistic means something you know you can accomplish.  Don’t tell everyone that you’re going to pull off 100 pounds in six months.  Logically that is dumb.  You’re only supposed to lose 2-3 pounds a week, that’s only 8-12 pounds a month.  Stop setting yourself up for disappointment!

Some after thoughts:
Drink water.  Don’t get me wrong I will not give up soda, fact – I have a 2 liter diet cherry diet pepsi in my kitchen.  However, now instead of drinking a 2 liter in one day I can now make it stretch to at least a week.  I have put in more water in my diet because it’s good for you.  Don’t like straight water?  Crystal Light!  I freaking LOVE crystal light.  Especially the pink lemonade & cherry limeade.
Keep a food diary.  I have an app on my phone called FitnessPal.  It’s easy to use, quick, and I absolutely enjoy the app.  I also use one called Runtastic for exercising purposes.  It took me a few minutes to figure out but once you do it’s great!  I have looked at other apps thinking maybe there was a better one, but I haven’t found one that I like more than the two I have.
Explore with seasonings when cooking. You can make any and everything taste fantastic when you find seasonings that you like.
Find a hobby.  One of the problems I found I was having with losing weight is that I wasn’t thinking about anything ever other than food.  It was literally my first thought when I woke up, every thought during the day, and last thought before going to sleep.  Until I was around nineteen when I realized my food habits is in fact a problem and I found a hobby – which anyone who has followed me for a while knows it’s writing.  So now, my first, middle & last thought of the day is writing.  What to write about?  How to write it?  When will I write it?  Who is going to read it?  Who might like it?  I find myself lately only thinking about food when I’m laying in bed (when I’m too lazy to get up and eat) or when I am hungry.  Or when it’s time for medication.  Plus, I read somewhere from a specialist, I don’t remember where or when, but it said the urge to eat/snack/pack fried chicken in your face only lasts about ten minutes.  Once you get past the ten minute mark, usually you don’t have the urge to eat anymore.  Is it true?  I don’t know, I usually get angry when I don’t eat.  I’m working on that.
If I can give any advice right now to anyone.  It will always be “don’t be afraid to eat”.  I get it, whatever you put in your mouth stays.  I understand that.  I’ve fought weight issues all my life and up until lately I didn’t realize there are simple things you can do to fix it.  SIMPLE.  When you become afraid to eat you lose all power you have over food.  It wins.  && you cannot let it win.  You have to be the one who wins over it.  Right now it has a lot of power over you && once you realize why, or how… you can become victorious!

You’re probably thinking.. what gives you any right to tell me how to fix something when you are still overweight yourself.  Well… stay put, walk with me and follow along… and I will prove it to you && actually tell you what I eat and how many calories it is.  I will tell you how I feel afterwards, and everything.  I promise to prove to you everything I will say works for me.  &&&& I honestly feel like it would work for you to.

Keep wishing me luck!
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The beginning…

I’ve been trying to figure out a reason to use this blog.  I mean – I have had it since February of 2012 and I have issues about getting rid of things without a good reason.  But I think I have decided how to use this so I can keep up with different stuff.  Will I keep it updated?  Hopefully.

Today is day number one.

For what, you may be asking.  Well, I have decided to give this “weight loss” another try.  Back in 2013 I pulled off 50 pounds – boy was I so happy.  It took me four months to realize that I am capable of pulling the weight off I just have to have determination and stop eating a full bucket of chicken just because I can.  (I honestly don’t remember eating a full bucket of chicken in one sitting, but it’s a great example of what not to do.)

I fell off of track around November of that year.  I began having issues with my right foot, a pain so horrible that I was crawling to the restroom or crying when I walked on it.  I finally sought a doctors help and was told that I have plantar fasciitis in that foot.  For anyone that doesn’t know what that is – it hurts like a mother*bad word*.  I’m not 100% sure but I’m pretty sure that it has something to do with my weight and the fact that I am flat footed.  I’m not a doctor – I don’t know for sure.  But for some doctors my weight is the reason for everything.  “Oh, you’re having nightmares?  Yeah, it’s because you’re fat.”  “OOOOOH, you’re clumsy and breaks cups all the time?  Yeah, it’s because you’re fat.”  You might giggle at that, but I have had it.

I know, common sense, that most of my issues is my weight, which is what I’m attempting to do.  So, as long as someone fit doesn’t make fun of me for exercising – again – I’ll stay on track and do what I have to do.

So, again, this is day one of probably three million, seven hundred, eighty-nine days to go.  (I might be exaggerating a bit.)

Today has started out well but then again I have been up since about six-forty and it’s only 8:46.  (In The Morning)  Yep.  I’m awake with the sun and chirping birds.  My television is off.  Not by choice – well, I am mad at it.  It won’t stay connected to the internet and I can’t watch The Chew like I wanted to.

I feel like I got a full nights rest.  I drooled, and woke up wet.  That’s usually a good meaning.  Wait!  Stop that you dirty minded person!  Wet.. as in I drooled all over my t-shirt.  Ya nasty!  Would I still be asleep if the boyfriend hadn’t turned on all the lights in the house and blinded my darkness?  Maybe.  But I’m not so enjoy this.

Laid there for a little bit until he fell asleep.  THen I realized I was hungry.  Here is where the problem always happens.  Food.  Food is my problem.  Always has been.  I am pretty sure that it’s not because I want to eat it.  There are days (Like Saturday at work) where I don’t eat or want to each much.  So what’s my issue?  The taste.  I feel sorry for anyone out there who hasn’t eaten something and in the middle of that bite just stopped, took a deep breath with your eyes closed and just thought, “damn!  this is good.”  It’s a great feeling!  I decided though that just because I’m attempting to lose weight doesn’t mean that I will lose that feeling.  I just have to stop.  I can’t let that feeling go on for an hour – or I could if I eat slow… which I do.  Sometimes my speed of eating worries me.

Back on track.  So realizing I was hungry I decide to make myself breakfast.  Breakfast.  Breakfast.  Breakfast.  I’m saying it a lot trying to get my head to wrap around the fact you’re supposed to eat it daily and some say it’s the best meal of the day.  ((I like dinner.))  I have never been much of an egg eater and lately they don’t settle completely in my stomach.  They end up giving me, what I like to call “sulfur belches”.  The best way to describe them is farting out of your mouth.  Yes!  It’s really that disgusting.  I hate having them so I just tend to stay away from eggs as much as possible.

I have realized, though, that you don’t have to eat eggs for breakfast.  There’s other foods that are just as tasty.  All else fails – I’ll just make me a smoothie with tons of fruits.  But today I chose scrambled eggs (because I cannot make an omelet) with pork, spinach, onions, mushrooms & cheese with a side of hash brown. (483 calories)  I wonder, though, what is the appropriate amount of calories for breakfast?

I ate it.  I still feel hungry.  I’m not & I know this.  But I feel like it.  Snacks are going to be my friend.  Good snacks.  Like freshly popped popcorn or an apple.  Orange.  Banananana.

I think my downfall is and always will be exercising.  It doesn’t seem like that big of a deal especially when my goal is to exercise four days a week.  Why?  I work on Saturday, Sunday & Monday with not very much time in between.  I get home around six fifteen in the morning, go to sleep, wake up around three in the afternoon just to be at work by five thirty to do it all over again.  Three twelve hour days are fantastic until you realize that if you had a different shift you would have time to relax in between them.  Like third, the shift the boyfriend works – he goes to work around eight thirty at night and get’s home around six fifteen in the morning.  He has time in between shifts to do whatever.  Would I switch to third?  No.  Not at all.

I found time the first time around to exercise before work.  Wake up at two and exercise and still give myself enough time to get to work on time.  I live closer to work now but the big question, will I exercise before work?  If I do then I could actually exercise up to seven days a week.  That seems like a lot of exercising.

One issue I always seem to have when trying to lose weight is that I don’t want to be one of those people who cannot live without exercising.  I understand the benefits of it but do I want to do nothing but worry about exercising.  Miss one day and then get so mad at myself that the next day I nearly kill myself trying to make up for it?  (Yeah, I don’t think I’d get to that point either, but what if?)  I want it for the benefits of losing weight, getting off medication, and living past 40.

So… day one is starting off well.  Hopefully I get to a day 30 and everything is still going swimmingly.  Only time will tell, I guess.

Wish me luck!
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Tissues for my Issues.

The first time around when I was attempting to lose weight seemed easier.  I’m not sure if it’s because I was more focused or if maybe I wanted it more the first time around.  I feel as if I should want it more this time – wanting to get off of medication & get my numbers under control sounds like a fantastic reason to pull off weight.  Especially since I wasn’t on any then but am now.

I don’t remember being this tired the first time.  Two years ago I had decided, even on the weekend when I work, that I would wake up, exercise and eat better.  I did well on it.  (Weekends waking up at 2 pm – since I work from 6pm to 6am.)  I don’t feel as if I had this much trouble those many years ago.  I mean, yes, don’t get me wrong – I do remember having days/nights where I honestly didn’t want to do anything & just wanted to eat fried chicken and cheese sticks.  I didn’t.  I stuck to my plan.  I pushed myself to exercise even on days I didn’t want to.  THANKSGIVING of that year I had dinner and then exercised for an hour.

I was so proud of myself.

This time around I’m having many issues.  Eating issues.  (I don’t eat as bad as I used to but I still have my issues.)  Exercising issues.   I decided that I would get a gym membership (which I did) and I would go with my friend twice a week – the other days going for walks at a walking path we have in town.  I think since I began this (starting seriously beginning in April) I have exercised well for a week & then just having a good day here and there.

Food wise…  Ugh!  That I don’t even want to talk about.  The first time I shopped mostly at Aldi’s since they have so many low calorie products.  For breakfast I would range from cereal with fruit and toast, to breakfast tacos (corn tortillas, eggs, sausage & cheese).  Then for snacks it was usually things like tiny bags of cookies, or Cheese Its.  For lunch, when at work I’d make a sandwich with chips but at home I’d make a bowl of soup, or a chicken salad.  Then a snack.  Then for dinner I would make chicken or tuna with pasta, a little sauce, and a vegetable.  I never took anything from myself meaning, if I wanted it I ate it.  I wouldn’t tell myself no – which worked – well.  From September to December I had pulled off 50 pounds.  (Couldn’t tell, but I did.)

I figured I would do the same thing this time around.  I still remember what I ate, how to eat it, the amounts, and I still have everything I had then (equipment wise).  So why am I having such a hard time with it?  I cannot blame it on the fact that this time I live with people.  They have all said they wouldn’t mind if we changed it up a little.  I know every single person in my household would welcome lighter foods and smaller amounts.  I decided to attempt to pull weight off and get off the medication and it seems as if we eat out more than we did before.  It’s as if I just stopped cooking.  (Which is one of my favorite things to do.)

The boyfriend bought me a slow cooker for this!  How many people do that for each other?  He bought me something so I could take my lunch to work, them have something healthier to eat when I’m at work, so I would no longer have to  buy bad for me foods.  I think since he bought it I did it for one weekend.  (Mostly because everything I have cooked in it comes out watery – even after cooking for nearly nine hours.)

I know I’m sabotaging myself.

I can do this because I have done it before.  I gave serious thought to having the weight-loss surgery but I can’t bring myself to do it.  I don’t feel like I’m there yet.  I know… I KNOW I can do this.  It’s all up to me and I keep getting in my own way.  No one else.  But how can you fix a problem when you’re not 100% sure what’s stopping you?

I thought I had the motivation I needed to go all the way this round but it seems like the more I try the more I fail.  I think half of my hump is that I am so tired.  Tired.  Extra tired.  I know for a fact that half of it is my medication & if I can get off of it I won’t be as tired.  To get off of them I have to lose weight.  I have to wake up and exercise to lose weight.

It’s a circle and I keep walking around in a triangle.

I tell myself every now and again that it’s okay if I miss a day – I’ll make it up tomorrow.  The problem is that tomorrow never comes and I end up not doing anything.  It’s getting to the point that I don’t wake up for days.  I don’t remember sleeping like this since I stepped to the bright side of depression (topic for another day).  I remember then sleeping for days only waking up to use the restroom, eat, and at times go to work.  But once I walked up the hill at that point in my life I began sleeping more like a “normal” human.  I’m back to only waking up for bathroom breaks and to make dinner for everyone.  But then of course, the nights I need to sleep I can’t.  Like right now, for an example, it’s two after six in the morning and I have to be up at two in the afternoon to get ready to be at work by five-thirty to do day one of my three twelve hour day work week.  But like most Friday nights/Saturday mornings, I am not tired – so here I sit.

I have plans for myself “tomorrow”.  Wake up at two in the afternoon and go for a walk.  Come home and make something to take to work.  (No one saw it because I’m on a computer, but I just rolled my eyes.)  We’ll see what happens after I finally go to sleep and wake up.