Do you splurge?

My favorite splurge or indulgence is…

For anyone who knows me it’s not really that hard to figure it out.

I don’t really “splurge” (unless you count books that I tend to buy all the time – && I just realized that I bought the same book twice, boo on me), but I do indulge – in Chinese food. 🤪 I think it’s mostly a comfort thing. When I was younger, before my mom passed away, that’s where her, my brother && I would go when we snuck away.

The problem with some of the questions people give you, whether it is through WordPress, or this book – once you answer the question you don’t really have much else to say. You write the question down, answer it with a sentence or two, && you’re done. But is that really a noteworthy blog?

Maybe a line or two is fine for one && I just need to get over not being able to answer a question with five or more paragraphs. Although, some questions I do have a bit to say for it, but not this one.

Day 19 of January, 2024

I don’t feel like…

The question of the day is “What challenges are are you currently facing”?

&& in all honesty, other than this house && figuring out wedding stuff – I don’t feel like I’m facing any real challenges.

Well, I guess a challenge I’m having right at this moment – writing my daily blog. I almost said to heck with it && just went to bed – it’s 6:57 PM (I have to get up at 3 AM) – but I dragged myself out and into this room to type. I guess I just don’t have much to say or maybe the words aren’t there tonight.

I think I might just be tired. I usually am. But will I be able to lay down && go straight to sleep? Never.

Sometimes I wish I had actual content to write about. Something to say everyday. I feel like when I was younger I had more to say, even if it was cringe. (That’s what the hipsters say, right?) But as an adult… am I an adult? I feel like I have a lot to say, but at the same time, I feel like some of my thoughts are worthless. Who wants to read that? (Shout out to the ones who do read && like daily. You’re appreciated more than you know.)

I guess for now I’ll stop trying to pull words out of my butt.

Obsessed.

I am currently obsessed with…

…two things, actually.

Finding an affordable place to have my wedding next year.
The Floor! && when I say the floor, I’m not talking about my house floors – there is a gameshow hosted by Rob Lowe that I’m loving.

I have been googling a lot lately trying to find something I like that I can afford. I tell Boyfriend all the time that I’m a little on the bougie side && looking at these places I’m starting to see just how bougie I really am. I have found a couple I really like but I can’t afford to just blow nearly $6,000 on a venue for one night. Especially when I can use that money to do better things – you know, like fix my house. (We are working on that slowly.)

I have thought about saying to heck with it && eloping. Find me a judge, courthouse, take a couple people && just be done with it. But at the same time, I know there are people who actually want to be there. So, I think, how mad will people be if I don’t invite everyone who has shown interest in it – will they get over it? Then I wonder also, how much do I really care? Some of the people who has shown interest in going I barely see. Or never see. I think they are after free booze, which I will not be having. I don’t drink, so why have it?

I’ve also been giving thought to having a very small wedding – get like a small chapel for $100 – then get a venue just to party! Invite the masses to the party to celebrate us getting married rather than being at the wedding itself. Because then I could just do a judge marriage and then have everyone go to the party afterwards.

Weddings are expensive. Where if I can just find a small chapel somewhere for a couple hundred dollars, I could spend a little bit on a venue (I found one for $500) – serve some finger foods, or pizza, or something. Soda’s && teas.

I have a lot to think about. Boyfriend mentioned just going to Vegas, but honestly, googling that – it’s not really that much cheaper to go there. Plus, you have to add in the money to drive there.

THE FLOOR! I’m telling you what! I had seen a preview of it on Facebook && thought I would give it a shot, why not? Right? I love gameshows. I wasn’t sure, just by previews, if I’d like it. So I waited for a day the Boyfriend && I were both off and I turned it on (I watch it using Hulu). && boy, let me tell you! I was hooked from episode one. The only thing I’m not liking is the fact I have to wait weeks to watch it. I’m up to date with it and now I have to wait until next Wednesday to watch the fourth episode.

Questions with no answers.

What is the biggest question you’ve asked yourself lately?

My question is always the same thing normally – what do I want out of life?

As of right now, I’m unable to answer it completely. I know I want happiness and peace of mind – like most people. But after that? What do I want to follow that?

I will say this much, I’m in a much better mood today. Kind of. I’m still kind of cranky – but I will move passed it. We went && bought the toilet today and while we were there we bought some wood – it’s not a fix-fix – more of a patch job, but we’ll be doing that also. I say “we”.. I’m not going to be doing it.. Boyfriend will be patching the floor tomorrow while I’m at work.

That’s something I want out of life. A whole floor.
A house I don’t have to be mad at all the time.
A house I am not sitting around waiting for it to fall over.
To win the lottery. 😁😁😁😁😁 (My grandfather always told me you can’t win if you don’t play. I don’t play – so I can’t win.)

Cold && Tired.

I’m writing this on my phone tonight. Ever just not feel like life? That’s me tonight.

It’s cold && I’m not liking it. Normally I love the cold but this year I’m not. Our pipes froze so if we have to use the restroom we go to the local gas station – which sucks.

I’m sitting in bed right now under three blankets listening to SpongeBob. We have a space heater going but it only does so much. Thankfully we usually have like 8 cats in bed with us, so that helps with body heat.

But that’s me tonight in a nutshell. I almost said to heck with writing for today but decided I really need to write something. So here is my “something”.

Have a good night. See y’all tomorrow…

Looking Foward- Part 2

I felt like I jipped (&& I just learned that the actual singular word is spelled gyp) the blog yesterday so once I got into a spot where I wasn’t cold && shivering, I figured I would write a little bit more.

Last night I was talking about things I’m looking forward to this year && I mentioned the weight loss surgery. I don’t know if the doctors are going to call me back or just leave me hanging, but if they do, I am looking forward to it. As I said I’m looking forward to not having so many meds, health problems – I’m ready for my feet and knees to not hurt all the time.

I’m also looking forward to planning the wedding of the century! Okay, yeah, you’re right, it will not be of the century, I don’t have that kind of money. But I am looking forward to planning && making the dream come alive in 2025. I haven’t made a lot of decisions, but I have made a couple. I will say though, I will not be dress shopping this year. But I’ll be making plans && making a budget list of what I can && what I can’t do && how much overtime I need to attempt to do to afford it all.

I’m looking forward to getting the love of writing back. I know it’s there, buried deep, I just have to locate it. && I have faith that I will find it. Maybe I’ll write a book, self-publish it, && be able to quit my job && just write. What a dream!

Looking Forward.

What are you looking forward to?

I almost forgot to write again. I was sitting in bed all toasty under the blanket && I started thinking about going to sleep then it hit me! (ton of bricks) I haven’t done my daily writing.

I’m looking forward to the weight loss surgery. I know I have said a few times that I don’t even want to do it, mostly because of the foods I won’t be able to eat anymore (fat brain thinking), but honestly, I’m looking forward to being a little bit healthier. Not having to take so many meds. I was taking them at work the other day && one of the women I work with said, dang, && I thought my three were a bunch. That says something. I’m 36, I shouldn’t be on as many meds as I am on.

This one is going to be a little shorter… I’m shivering and I hate to shiver. So I’m going to go back to my blankets.

Revelations.

What have you recently had a revelation about?

I tell you hwat! I’m not liking the last couple days of questions. Hopefully they begin to get better. So another rambling post.

I finished the book I was reading today. && I thoroughly enjoyed it. Had a few cracks about white people in it, but honestly, the cracks weren’t too far off. I think I’m really starting to enjoy thrillers / mysteries. I don’t know what it was about “Almost Surely Dead” by Amina Akhtar, but duuuuuuuuuuude! If you’re in a reading slump I advise you to purchase this book. It’ll pull you straight out of it.

I started another, “The New House” by Tessa Stimson. A friend of mine is in a book club, which I’ve secretly always wanted to be in one, && she added me to their Facebook page – which I accepted. This month they picked this book to read so I’m quietly reading it myself. Why not? It was $0.99 for the Kindle book. I’m not very far into it, when I started reading it I was at work && it was shift change, so it got loud. Figured I’ll read some on it tomorrow – or possibly tonight if I don’t pass out quickly.

Today is Friday, I still haven’t heard back from the weight loss people. I remember when I first sent them a message about getting in with them it took them two weeks – so do I give them two weeks or call back Monday – wait, Monday is a Holiday – Tuesday? We got take out tonight for dinner because we were going to be out late. Boyfriend wanted pizza, so as we were walking into Dominoes to grab his stuff we had to walk by Catos. I sighed at the sight of it and just thought about how I am ready to be able to purchase clothes inside of a store. The last time I was able to do that I was nineteen. Since then it’s been online clothes with hopes that it actually fits.

I’m trying to think if I have anything else to ramble about before I log off && go to bed.

I think I’ve talked myself into beginning a new story. I don’t know if I will finish it or get irritated and toss the notebook out a window. But I’m going to attempt to begin something. I have had a few ideas that I really liked, I just have to get my brain straight so I can write. I’ll keep you posted on how that goes.

Counting..

Who can you count on the most in your life right now?

Logically, I’m smarter than to answer this in a public blog. Why? People in my life read this – they automatically think why can’t she count on me? && it wouldn’t matter who I put down as the people I can count on the most. I could say the Pope, && someone in my life would get butt hurt.

So let’s ramble a little instead. So I started a book called “Almost Surely Dead” by Amina Akhtar. I got it off Amazon for free this month, which I didn’t know was a thing. Let’s just say, I’m obsessed with this book. I read a review on Goodreads that said “this book helped me out of a reading slump”. I first thought, no way will it work. Dude! I can’t tell you enough how much I’m enjoying this book. I’m about half way through with it right now && I can’t wait to find out what happens && why it happened. I think I have figured everything out and BAM! I was wrong. But of course, that is what the author wanted.

I still haven’t wrote anything other than a daily blog post. It’s still something, right? Maybe a little more writing will help. Maybe a little more reading will help.

I called the weight loss doctor on Monday to set up an appointment to start the journey over. However, it’s Thursday, && they still haven’t called me back. When I called them I stayed on hold for thirty minutes – it was around 4 PM when I called them. After the thirty minutes they said they’ve been on the phone with insurance, which I do know takes a bit, && that they’d call me back. I haven’t heard anything as of yet. I’m hoping they haven’t given up on me. I had started the journey last year with them but money became an issue so I paused. Started talking to a different surgeon about going through them because my job would pay quite a bit on it, plus insurance, so it would be basically free. Free is good, right? However, even free isn’t enough when the dietician did nothing but yell at me every time we spoke.

Why’d she yell? They wanted me to lose 37 pounds, which doesn’t seem like a lot of weight, because it’s honestly not. However, with all of the meds I’m on (insulin included) I’m having a very hard time losing weight. Trust me, if I could, I wouldn’t be looking into the surgery. I need help! But all the dietician wanted to do was yell and scream. Which honestly, I thought I was making that up. I can be pretty sensitive. After one month I went into the living room where Boyfriend was and he asked me what the yelling was about? He had heard her yelling from three rooms over. That’s when I decided I didn’t want to go through them. So him && I talked && we figured out the money. Now, I’m just waiting for them to call me back. Hopefully they do soon so I can get the ball rolling again.

Starting the day…

My favorite way to start my day is…

…by going back to bed. 😆 All jokes aside, there is a little truth behind that laugh.

I’m not sure I actually like this question. Everyone starts their day about the same. I wake up. Put on glasses. Go to the restroom. Sometimes I lay back down just because I can. Most of the time I put on clothes, take meds, go about my day.

At least we know that this question was not meant to be in the form of a blog.

I almost forgot to write today. Started watching “Young Sheldon” and my mind was occupied. Went to lay down for the night – I have work in the morning so it’s around 6:30 PM – and realized I hadn’t wrote for today. So that’s what I’m doing. I know missing one day is fine, but I don’t want to. I really want to make a good effort in writing at least once a day. Still trying to get that motivation back.

I have also started using my Kindle again. Got a free book this month && so now I’m trying to get back to that. My goal is at least 12 books this year – I read seven last year – which is one book a month. I should be able to do that.

I know today’s entry isn’t the best it could be. But at least it’s something. It’s getting my brain going – which is better than nothing, right?