Tag: amwriting

More Books.

List three books that have had an impact on you. Why?

  1. Gabriel’s Inferno” by Sylvain Reynard
    I have read books that I stop && think oh wow, that’s a good book. Then I have read books that I thought this isn’t very good. When I first came across “Gabriel’s Inferno”, I had just finished reading “50 Shades of Grey” (which I found out about because of Ellen D. && her talk show where she was talking about someone reading it on a plane, it’s not as funny written in words, but trust me, it was a great moment.) && I was looking for another book to read in that genre, or close to it. Keep in mind one thing, I had never read “smut”, “mommy porn”, “erotica” in my life. I was never interested, until I read “50 Shades of Grey”, which I guess a lot of woman can say that. When I first found “Gabriel’s Inferno” I got a clip of it on my Kindle to see if liked it before I actually bought it. I tried to read it and was unable. So I read a few of Sylvia Day’s books – in the same genre.

    After a while of it sitting on my kindle I gave it another try – which is where my obsession with Sylvian Reynard began. When I finally sat down and read the book I realized I had been missing out on so much. I tend to read books that I feel are in my “IQ Range” and I felt that his books, all of his books, are way above my IQ. (I’m not as smart as people think I am.) I think it’s half the reason I was so hesitant to read it. But lord, let me tell you, when I finally did read it and got into it. It’s like the heaven’s opened up and I was in love.

    I know a lot of people that have read this series && they all basically say the same thing: “it’s great”, “wonderfully written”, “I’m obsessed”, “I need to know who the author is”, “did he put himself into it”… it goes on & on. I read to escape, and when I first read this book I was single, and lonely. It’s like the book gave me a friend for a while. I have read that series multiple times and I will probably read it again & again.

    I know this much, I’m not sure if anyone has ever said this about a book, but I’m a closet writer. (What?! Who wouldn’t have known.) But when I get into a writing slump I will pull his books out && read them. Those books give me the oompth I need to write something. It’s something small, but it’s huge for me. I hope Sylvian Reynard knows that when he wrote that series he wrote a masterpiece for some.

    I know it said “book” && I did write the first one as my first book, but if you read the first you HAVE to read the whole series. Trust me on that.
  2. “On Writing” by Stephen King.
    I know this seems like a weird choice for most people. But for me it helped me in ways I wasn’t sure it would have. I bought this book because I googled books about writing a writer should read. I purchased this one and one other, that I can’t remember the name of so that says something.

    When I started reading this book I was trying to keep an open mind but what was I going to learn from Stephen King? At the time of buying it I was having issues with my writing. I have written one book from start to finish && I’m not sure I even like it anymore. When I thought of the idea I was all for it but as I began writing && having trouble && having people tell me I can’t write the way I write, I realized it wasn’t fun anymore. So I hadn’t written in a while at that point.

    But as I read through this book I realized that some of the things I did while writing he said it was okay. I know it’s silly to go off of one writers words, but he knows something about it, doesn’t he? I continued to read through the book and I put sticky notes through out it && I highlighted things I wanted to remember.

    I have always lived with the thought that your writing must be in your voice. That way you live && the way you talk. But I have had people that attempt to correct everything that is my voice, so I started to believe it and was attempting to write in a more “smart way”. Using a thesaurus to find bigger words for the small ones I use, and using one word instead of a whole sentence. But then – when I read this book I realized that I was right. I need to keep the words to what I say and how I say it. How will people believe I’m the one that wrote it if I don’t speak the same way?

    On page 174, hit me like a ton of bricks. I have trouble describing characters. I can see them in my head very well, but when I go to describe them in words, it’s as if words fail me. On this page of his book it helped me a lot:

    “I’m not particularly keen on writing which exhaustively describes the physical characteristics of the people in the story and what they’re wearing (I find wardrobe inventory particularly irritating; if I want to read descriptions of clothes, I can always get a J. Crew catalogue). I can’t remember how many cases where I felt I had to describe what the people in a story of mine looked like-I’d rather let the reader supply the faces, the builds and the clothing as well. If I tell you that Carrie White is a high school outcast with a bad complexion and a fashion-victim wardrobe, I think you can do the rest, can’t you?”

    Summing this up because I could talk forever – this book helped me realize that my writing isn’t as bad as some people like to tell me. && using smaller words, because that’s how I talk, isn’t a bad thing. That I can go without a full description of characters, leaving something to imagination, if I want to. It made me realize that I need to stop beating myself up everything I attempt to write something just because one person tells me I can’t do that. Plus, he didn’t like his first book either. So there’s that.
  3. We will leave this one blank for now…
    I know I have talked about a lot of different books. They all mean something to me in one way or another, but to have an impact on me I feel like I shouldn’t question it at all. I was thinking through the books I have read, and I can question all of them, minus the first two.

    So for now, I’ll leave the third blank. I’ll be able to fill the slot one day. So many more books to read.

Books & More Books.

Do you remember your favorite book from childhood?

I’m not sure I read as much as I wish I had growing up, especially as a child. I did read – free pizza’s, come on. We all read. But I’m not sure I read enough when I didn’t have to be reading.

But I remember in the 9th grade borrowing a couple books from a friend: “The Silver Kiss” && “Blood & Chocolate” both by Annette Curtis Klause. && I remember those two books being really prominent in my world. It’s actually what got me reading books about vampires and werewolves.

I remember trying to find a quiet place when I was reading “Blood & Chocolate” – I ended up in my brothers room. It was the farthest room from everything && he was rarely home. I remember laying in his bed, head buried deep into the story, until my dad came looking for me. He found me && when he said my name it scared the crap out of me! I jumped, threw the book, && yelped.

Since then, however, I have found books that I enjoy much more. They usually aren’t about vampires or werewolves, and are usually considered romance. But for Little Barb – “The Silver Kiss” && “Blood & Chocolate” was it.

Worlds.

Trying to break into worlds is hard.

No, this isn’t about me trying to find a way into another galaxy or proving that there is life in space. What I’m stating, is facts, that when you try to break into worlds it’s hard.

The writing community is huge. A lot of book worms, writers, authors, agents, editors, etc. && trying to get welcomed into it is like trying to sit at the popular table in high school. Sadly, I was never invited.

I have never been good at popularity contests && I wasn’t part of the “in crowd” && thinking that the writing community makes me feel like that is a harsh reality. I honestly know it’s not a popularity contest… but I feel like that. I also feel if you don’t have the money to spend you’ll never be published.

I figured the best way for an unknown is to publish it myself. Which is totally fine – I don’t mind doing the hard work. But I really wanted a professional editor to read through it, find the errors but unless I can poop out nearly $3,000 that will never happen. &&& I know they are worth the money, I just don’t have it to spend.

Then I think ‘okay, let’s skip the professional editing.’ Knowing that it’s self published, “most” readers will look over a lot of them. I will just edit the crap out of it.

Next hurdle. To self-publish, you need extra money. Thousands. I found a company that helps self publish but as I began reading I realized that not only do they request thousands of dollars they also keep 80¢ on every dollar for themselves so I would only get 20¢ of every dollar sold. Whereas, if I do it all myself and use Amazon, I get 70% of the royalties.

But then I think about going with my other passion but breaking into the food world is just as hard – if not harder. I guess when they say “you need money to make money” they weren’t kidding. But sadly, here I am with no money.

I did upload a couple chapters of the book. I figured if it gets enough notice that either that company will want to publish it or it shows that if I was to save the money, step-by-step it, that people would be interested in purchasing the book.

Frost the Novel.

Frost

I have decided to step out of my comfort zone. To do so I have uploaded the first few chapters (through chapter three), so I can get feedback on it. If you happen to read it, and you like it, please hit the heart button.

I also understand that not everyone likes every book written, so it won’t hurt all of my feelings if someone doesn’t like it. But at the same time, I hope people like it.

Through that website, if it’s like && enough buzz, they would consider publishing it.

Learned Something.

In the 150 years that I have been alive I have always been told “it’s hot because of the humidity”. Okay, that’s fine, I get it.

The other night I was reading something that a friend wrote on Facebook (she lives in South Carolina) that it was In the 70’s. I stopped && thought ‘I wish it was in the 70’s here’ (104° that day). She mentioned the humidity making it extremely hot.

It got me to thinking. The hottest place I have ever been is Florida so I googled the humidity there – that day it was 78%. So I googled mine – I live in Oklahoma – ours was 34%. So I googled South Carolina – it was 34%. (Mind you, today as I write this, all three humidities are in the 70% but not the day I learned this.) That day here it was 104° &&& I felt like I was on fire.

All of this made me google the places with the highest humidity. The top five: Iowa with 82%, New Hampshire with 81%, Alaska with 81%, Maine with 80% && North Dakota with 80%. Alaska and Maine surprised me briefly until I remembered – water. Water heat. It makes your humidity sky rocket. Oklahoma sits at #34 with a 76% humidity && I cannot forget about Texas, since I was born there and I’m about 5 minutes from the state line- it sits at #29 with a 76% humidity. Deleware is the lowest with a 72% humidity.

So I learned it isn’t always the humidity. Sometimes, living in Satan’s butthole, it’s just hot.

I also think I may have been looking at the wrong numbers the other day with the 30% humidity. Today it’s 72% – though it’s 66% in Oklahoma City, 72% in Tulsa and Gage comes in at 49%. Amarillo, Texas is sitting at 58% whereas Houston is at a whopping 85% but Galveston is at 79%.

So there you have it. Todays humidity levels around Oklahoma and Texas.

Have a good day.

Walking Around the Clock.

I bought a treadmill.

&& shockingly, a part of my body didn’t try to die. (Remember jump rope?) I had it a few days before I actually used it. && I could sit here and give you a million reasons why I didn’t – but truth is… lazy.

The treadmill was on sale. && when I say it was on sale, I’m talking dropped nearly 400$. I have been wanting to buy one because I know I’ll use it. But there are still days where I’ll go outside for a walk. But with this, I have no excuse.

The last seven days I have walked a total of 2:22:20 hours, 3.83 miles && estimated calorie burn of 755. I have given myself small goals on it each day. First. I want to hit one mile. Two. I want to hit 45 minutes or more of walking. Three. I want to burn at least 200 calories. (I know the calorie count is an approximate.) I usually hit one mile first. Takes me approximately 30ish minutes. Then I hit the 200 calories. At that point, I’m just waiting to hit the 45 minute mark.

I know doctors say at least 30 minutes a day, but I figure an extra 15 isn’t going to kill me. Unless I trip – like I almost did today. So my machine has the ability to program exercises for you. I thought today I would do this tour in Louisiana that is on there through a building. Sounded exciting. It was up until it decided it need to speed up, didn’t give me any warning, and I nearly tripped and fell.

Falling on a treadmill is not on my to-do list.

Going with the 200 or more calories per workout, for five days a week, that’s 1000 calories. By gum, if I can’t lose the weight doing 1,000 calories a week – then I need to admit and accept that I’m meant to be overweight and just move on.

But even as optimistic as I am, a part of me worries that I’ve done too much damage && that I can’t reverse anything. I get, && understand that diabetes isn’t curable. It’s manageable. It’s also reversible. A part of me is scared to death that I can’t reverse it && that I have do deal with this the rest of my life. That’s even if I pull the weight off && get myself back on track.

I guess the good part of all of this? I’m out of my walking rut. Now I just have to keep going && not give myself a dumb excuse why I can’t walk one day. The only day I don’t plan on walking is Saturday’s && I’m not using an excuse. It’s the truth. I work from 5A-5:30P – by the time I get home I have enough time to make something for dinner, get to bed, just to wake up and be at work at 5A again. I’m not even going to try to exercise on Saturday’s unless I find that I am off on Sunday’s && as short handed as we are on that day – I don’t see it anytime soon.

My goal is five days. Monday through Friday. If I can hit that goal, I won’t beat myself up if I don’t walk Saturday && Sunday.

I feel as if I’m rambling. So I’m going to stop now.

Frost.

Mara Montgomery spends her days cooking and cleaning for her stepmother and two stepsisters.  But after an accident one night, Mara finds her life changing forever.  When she arrives back home and see’s that everything has changed, her anger turns into revenge, before taking off deciding her life isn’t what she always thought it would be.  Mara is only partially accepting with the reality she was facing when she is approached by the charming, rude, and egotistical Kristopher Plague. 

Kristopher Plague comes across to the public as the ordinary rich boy, not wanting for anything, living in the largest house on the West side of town.  He uses his notorious good looks and money to gratify his every need, but is secretly obsessed with Mara, the only girl he cannot have.  Once she appears in his yard in the middle of the night, almost as a knight in shining armor, he will do anything and everything in his power to make her his.  Until a guy, NiKlaus Cuttingham, appears out of the shadows and threatens to take everything that is his.

NiKlaus Cuttingham is Chief of Police and all-around terrific guy, and brother of Mara Montgomery’s best friend, Megan.  He finds himself hunting down the ‘bad guys’ and rescuing damsels in distress.  Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine the girl-next-door would need some saving and he would find himself tangled in the middle of lies, deceit, and murder.

*********************************

I’m slowly finishing up the novel. I’m to the point where I have let someone have the first four chapters to read. I’m still scared to death – which of course, everything that the person says I overthink it && make it worse in my head.

The question is – from the blurb – would you read it?

I have had the blurb for the back of the book written for years, I’m not sure if I have ever shared it before, but here it is. I’m wanting to find one more person to edit it, start to finish, after I finish reading through it, but I’m not sure who to use. I know I can’t use an official editor, because I don’t have the money for it && I refuse to ask someone who does it for a living to do it for free. Because – that’s like asking me to go to work for a week && not get paid for it. I wouldn’t do it I don’t expect them to do it.

Anyhoo… I am up to chapter 19 of 29-ish. It’s either 28 or 29 chapters. Then I have to upload my changes once again && then hopefully find someone who…

I’m worried about giving it to someone who has been in my life for a long time because I fear they will tell me what they think I want to hear because they are afraid of hurting my feelings. It’s one of those, I’d rather them hurt my feelings because if they tell me it’s good, I go to get it published (whether I do it myself or through a company) the criticism will be worse than a friend/family telling me they didn’t like it.

Ya know?

I have my goal to finish is by Summer of 2022. Getting it published is a different story.

Bacon.

I googled today “blog topics”.

I really wanted to write a something but I didn’t have anything in mind to write about. So I pulled up the internet and googled it. Some of them were interesting but I came across one that made me laugh. Out of everything that you could possibly write about, the website said:

“Bacon. Who doesn’t love bacon?”

I laughed. I thought who would actually take the time to write a full blog about bacon? I understand that people do enjoy a good piece of bacon – alone, with something, in something, wrapped around something. But would someone actually read a full blog that was based on the popular breakfast food?

But the question more is – what could I say about bacon, that others haven’t already? Bacon. Pork Bacon.

I actually didn’t used to eat a lot of bacon as it upset my stomach, sometimes it still does. Then for awhile it gave me kidney stones because of the salt – although I found the underlying cause of that, so it wasn’t bacon. Recently, after the diabetes and such, I began cooking with bacon a little more. Not a lot of bacon, just enough to give a taste and probably a crunch since I overcook it (I tend to zone out).

I do enjoy the bacon jokes when people say they will take their bacon with a side of bacon, covered in bacon, and bacon on the side to dip their bacon in. When I still worked overnights && my job still has an employee dining room – I’d go get bacon, crumple it && put it in white gravy. Then I’d eat it with a spoon. Told that to the boyfriend && he said it sounded gross. Maybe not gross, but it could explain why I’m 9,000,000 pounds. (That might be a slight exaggeration.)

Bacon isn’t what will kill me. Butter is.

The websites also said to share a recipe with your readers. &&& since I chose bacon – I’ll share a bacon recipe with you. I call it warm corn and cabbage salad.

I first take a head of cabbage and chop it up.
Chop up an onion. I use white, but I’m sure it would be good with whatever kind you want to use.
Fresh corn on the cob – I cut the corn off.
Chop bacon into small pieces.

I first cook the bacon. I toss in the onions, and cabbage. Mmm-mm. After they cook a bit I add in the cabbage – season with your favorites (I tend to use pepper, onion powder, & garlic powder). Cook it a bit until you get the texture of the cabbage you want. Serve.

Well, I guess it is possible to write a blog about bacon.

To ghost or not to ghost.

When I was fifteen I lost my mother.

The day before she passed her && I spent the whole day together. I had woke up that day to get ready for school but something told me not to go. So I didn’t. I used the fact that my foot was broken, I said it hurt, to not go to school that day. Instead, we spent the day together.

At a point in the day she told me if there was anyway she could come back && let us know that she was safe, and had found her mother and grandfather, that she’d let me know. I joked, of course, && told her I wouldn’t do that unless you want to see me a lot earlier than you expected. We both chuckled.

She was scared that day. I didn’t realize it at the time. But she was. I remember going home that night helping her pack and get ready to go to the hospital. In the bag she had packed were letters she had written. They were for my brother, dad && me. When I found them that day I asked her about them && she said they were nothing && threw them away. A part of me wishes I hadn’t said anything. I have always wondered what it said.

The next day we drove to OKC Heart hospital. Waited all day. Drove home that night without her.

A few days pass, not many, just enough. My brother && I were in my bedroom – up on the shelf was a mantle clock that belonged to my great-grandfather. It hasn’t worked in years due to the fact that all of the inside pieces are in the bottom of it. That day the clock chimed three times. I looked at my brother who looked back at me. For a brief second – I was relieved. My brother & I have always believed, && I always will, that was my mother telling us that she found our grandmother && great-grandfather && that they were together.

Every so often I’ll see a shadow out of the corner of my eye – not all the time, and it’s usually subtle and doesn’t stay long. Just long enough, I guess. I’ll stare in the direction of the shadow – I don’t know if it’s in hopes of actually seeing her or just feeling comfort to know she’s there.

I just hope that she is proud of me. Even though my house is a mess, my life is a mess && I’m nowhere near being in the position that I thought I would be at 34. && I hope after my dad passed that he was able to find her. That they are together along with her parents, and his parents, siblings, etc. I hope that in the afterlife you do find your people && you know it. That it isn’t over after you die && there are great things for you waiting.

Here We Go!

November 2012 – First got the idea of Frost
November 2012 – Began writing.-The first few months was probably the easiest. The words just came to me. Flew out without having to think about it. Came across Chapter Three && the words just stopped. For some weird reason, every odd chapter was hard to write.
January 25, 2015 – I finished writing the full story.
January 26, 2015 – Began editing the story.
January 27, 2015 – Began the LONG fight with the story that lasted seven years.
January 25, 2022 – Finished – completely – the first round of edits. Yes, you read that correctly, I have finished editing the book. Do I think it’s great? No, I still think it needs a lot of work. But this is right direction.

My next plan is to print it out, start to finish, && read it. Make sure it flows, make notes throughout it. Make sure I didn’t take something out that I referenced before. It began with one idea && became something completely different as I finished writing it. But I think most writers say that about their stories.

I have given myself a goal. The goal of finishing this completely before the end of this year. Although, I think I say this every year, I mean it a little more now. The last year has been weird, hard, and stupid – && I know that I may not have forever and if I keep putting it off, my forever is going to be something I don’t enjoy as much as I should. I preach to people all the time to do the stuff in life that makes them happy. So why am I not listening to myself when it comes to my own happiness? I don’t want to be doing what I’m doing for the rest of my life. I want to write. I want that to be my living. &&& I will NEVER know for sure if I have what it takes if I never finish the book.

So here I am. My life is fine – but it would be so much better if I could put as my job title “Author”. Be able to say that my life is writing. Writing is my life.

But then again, I have decided to do a lot of things that scare me. That I’m afraid to do. && no, it’s not one of those “I’m going to die so I’m going to do everything on my bucket list.” I am not planning my death. I’m not ready to die. I’m just going to do && try to do the things that I have wanted to but afraid to try. Maybe I’ll go bungee jumping? Go down a water slide? Learn to swim?

I’ve been struggling lately with my sugar numbers. They’ve been high – not last year high, but high. 300’s. All the time. Morning. Afternoon. Night. My phone was been waking me up beeping because it hits 300 between 2AM & 7AM. Then it’ll go down to about 250 && stay there all day. I have been waiting to go see my endocrinologist about it && see what she says, however, when my appointment came up I found out they dropped my insurance – yay. So I was unable to do that. Instead I made an appointment with my primary && had the conversation. After discussing medicine & such she mentioned that it’s probably because I have been taking one of my shots. Why? Because I ran out of it – then tried to get it refilled. The endocrinologist I was seeing doesn’t, for any reason, answer their phone. So I was unable to get it refilled. So my primary refilled it – three months worth – &&& I began taking it again. I’m back on it for two weeks. The last two days I haven’t hit 300. It has been ranging between 150 – 200. Still high, but it’s a lot better than it was.

Weight loss. That’s my goal. I don’t know if I will be able to do it myself. Back of my mind has been weight loss surgery. I feel like that’s me giving up. But at the same time, I also think, it might benefit me. I will have a higher chance of not being diabetic, have high blood pressure && I may, just may get my heart function back.

My check up this month with my primary – she said I had a little fluid build up again. Nothing scary. She didn’t hospitalize me. She said my numbers are better. I take a water pill – I’m allotted two of them a day – I have only been taking one. This last few days I have been taking two. I can’t have the build up – a heart attack is not in my plans.